(In my best Centauri’s voice* impersonation) “Greetings Starfighters! You have been recruited by the United Star League of the Star League, Starfleet, The Rebel Alliance, Battlestar Galactica, The Brown Coats, and all the other good guys to defend the frontier against combined the Evil Axis of Power of The Empire, The First Order, The Alliance, The emperor Ming, the Cylons, the Ko-Dan armada and every other evil space force. As Starfighters, you will be allowed your choice of one to four manned small fighter spaceships to pilot. So which one do you want?” “If you don’t see what you want, just describe it to me or my associates, Hans Solo, Chewbacca, and Captain Malcolm Reynolds over here and we’ll see if we can procure you one. If it belongs to the other side, shall we say, not admitting to anything illegal or unethical, of course, shall we say “Liberate”** you one?” “Just remember: 1, always trust Centauri. And 2, these ships are for fighting only. They don’t come with beds, toilet or a kitchen like a space yacht. I often wonder how Skywalker survived that long trip to Dagobah in that X-wing fighter with no bed, or toilet. Just food packs. Barbaric.”

* As a salute to Robert Preston’s last film performance in The Last Starfighter (1984). ** AKA: steal from the enemy.