Larry David Poster

Quotes (15)

  • I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am.
  • [after winning the Golden Globe for best comedy series] This is a sad day for the Golden Globes. It is, however, quite a good day for Larry David. I suspect the wife will be a little forthcoming tonight.
  • Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
  • Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
  • Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
  • Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.
  • I couldn't be happier that President [George W. Bush] has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.
  • I didn't cringe when I saw myself - I mean, sometimes I did, but it wasn't a big cringe-fest for me.
  • I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.
  • When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, "That'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless".
  • [on ever remarrying] It would be a silly thing to do. Why would I do it? Why would I want that contract? I already have kids. The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it. You get married, you have kids - you should plan this from the beginning. We're going to have these kids, then we'll get divorced when they're four. All right, six.
  • If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
  • This notion I hear that [Woody Allen] doesn't direct, I mean, that's kind of ridiculous. He gets what he wants.
  • [on playing the character Larry on 'Curb your enthusiasm'] Every day confirms, more and more, he's right. He's right about everything; he's rarely rarely wrong. And when he is, he apologizes. I think a lot of people are afraid to apologize. I love to apologize. I was raised to apologize. My mother insisted always. Even if I was 100% right, she would insist "Larry, you be the man, go ahead. Tell him you're sorry!" "But I didn't do anything!" "I don't care. Tell him you're sorry!"
  • When things happen to me, I write them down. I'll use them eventually, at some point. I carry around a little pad with me. I carried a pad around for years, and then when I got a cell phone I stopped carrying the pad and started writing them on the cell phone. People thought that I was texting and I was being rude, so then I went back to the pad. You don't want to be called a millennial. "You're acting like a millennial!! That is not a good thing to be called.