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The Seven Affable And Sane-Seeming Celebrity Couples Least Likely To Name Their Kid "Velvet Tuning Fork Jolie-Pitt"

I was reading about Germany's oddly strict naming laws this morning and revisiting some of the classic crimes against humanity perpetrated by Celebrities Who Procreate. You've heard them before. The Greatest Hits:

Audio Science (Son of actress Shannyn Sossaman)

Pilot Inspektor (Son of actor Jason Lee)

Jermajesty (Son of Singer Jermaine Jackson)

Sage Moonblood (Son of Sylvester Stallone)

Moxie CrimeFighter (Daughter of Penn Jillette)

Rocket (Son of Robert Rodriguez who also fathered to Racer, Rebel, Rhiannon, and Rogue)

I mean, I have a fondness for alliteration too, Roberto, but come on. This certainly isn't just a celebrity phenomenon. The article also enumerates hideous acts of naming cruelty perpetrated by every day folks (Monster Moor, Goblin Fester, Cheese Ceaser, Leper Priest, Garage Empty, Hysteria Johnson, Nice Deal, Butcher Baker, Lotta Beers, Emma Royd, Post Office, Good Bye, King Arthur, Infinity Hubbard, Please Cope, Major Slaughter, Helen Troy). And then, of course

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