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Are you Palme or Cesar?

On my way out from my interview with Sophie Dulac I picked up the magazine Signe Barriere and found this important quiz by Ariane Massenet in Signe Barriere, Spring 2012. Oh la la, so French!

Les ateliers du court metrage offer you more below.

This is for all you French film lovers!

1. In the kitchen, are you

A. Cesar salad made in 2 minutes, including bacon

B. Palm oil

C. Starter(s), main course(s), cheese dessert(s), petit fours, the visitor’s book and the bill

2. A film

A. Cesar and Cleopatra starring Vivien Leigh

B. Uncle Boonmee, Who Can Recall His Past Lives (and the film?)

C. Oscar, starring Louis de Funes (a 1967 French comedy of errors)

3. In your opinion, art is:

A. The compressed Cesar trophy

B. Obviously the film that won the Palme d’or

C. Abstract

4. You favorite hobby

A. Exhibitions in the city

B. Flippers, masks and snorkels

C. Slot machines at Caesars Palace

5. What is your astral sign?

A. Sagittarius

B. Aries

C. Whelk

6. For a fancy dress party, you dress up as

A. Cesar

B. A prophet

C. Donald Duck

7. An award winning actress’s speech is

A. “Although I was not expecting this, I prepared a speech just in case”

B. “Films are life”

C. “The most beautiful role of all is being a mother”

8. The place to be

A. At Hotel Fouquet’s Barriere in Paris

B. At the Majestic Barriere in Cannes.

C. The Hotel de Flots de Marolles-les-Buis (though remember that if you are reading this magazine, then you are in a Barriere hotel!)

9. Your favorite type of film

A. La grand vadrouille (“Don’t Look Now…We’re being shot at!” a 1966 Anglo-French comedy starring Terry Thomas)

B. A feature length Turkish film shot along the Yemen border, shown in its original version, without subtitles.

C. The entire series of Josephine ange gardien (“Josephinne the Guardian Angel”, a long-running French TV series)

10. A legendary couple

A. Valerie Lemercier & Gad Elmaleh

B. Juliette Binoche & Gerard Depardieu

C. Isabelle Huppert & Jamel Debbouze

11. Your first language

A. French

B. Thai

C. Stewed tongue of beef

12. A moment’s reading

A. Cesar by Marcel Pagnol

B. A Fishing Rod for My Grandpa by Xing Jian Gao

C. The visitor’s book and the bill

13. Your ideal vacation

A. Anywhere near Paris

B. Anywhere in the south

C. Anything!

Majority of A answers: You are more of a Cesar, more of a prophet than Uncle Boonmee. In fact you do not like Thailand for its films, but for its beaches and cuisine. Anyway, subtitles annoy you because, you must admit, you have never been able to do two things at once, and even if you did not know who Tabar Rahim was to begin with, your ignorance has been repaired thaks to Jacques Audiard. So, Gentlemen, without letting the prophet notion go to your head, there’s only one thing left to do: after a concert, head for the red carpet with Melanie Thierry, Emmanuelle Devos or Mademoisellle Chambon on your arm, you can pretend to be a good-looker! What? You are a woman? No problem. For you, Ladies, at the end of the day, you will be dressed in Coco Chanel when you arrive at the ceremony, escorted by Niels Arestrup. Plans for the end of the evening? Ok, after the Cesar awards, what could be nicer or simpler than enjoying one for the road at Fouquets? (Please note the author’s huge effort to quote as many names from the 2010 Cesar Awards, Applause)

Majority of B answers: You are more of a Palme d’or, Lung Boonmee raluek Chat (Bless you! Translated Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives) directed by Apichatpong Weerasethakul (if you manage to pronounce his name correctly first go, you’ll win a free cocktail at the bar). Like Mathieu Amalric, who is away on tour, what matters for you are these actors and gods who deserve Grand Prizes, in Cannes, you can pretend to be Juliette Binoche, female replica of your husband who thinks he is (depending on the day) the Biutiful Javier Bardem, or Elio Germano, the hero of your Nostra Vita…But never mind, for you la nostra vita puts the leap years into rhyming poetry; he’s the man who asks who told you from the top of the stairs (This time it was far more complicated trying to discreetly slip in a Cannes Film Festival 2010 winner!) If you have seen all these films, another free cocktail awaits you at the bar.

Majority of C answers: You may be completely exhausted; you still haven’t got a clue! No Palmes or Cesars for you! So not interested in Deauville, Dinard, La Baule or La Rochelle? Toronto, Venice Film Festival, Golden Globbes or Marrakech? Still nothing? And what about Les Victoires de la Musique (an annual French awards ceremony that recognizes the best singers of the year), Nrj radio station awards, Mirande Country Music Festival or Enghien Jazz Festival? Still fail to ring a bell? Don’t despair, try musical chairs. There are 2 of you and 1 chair. When the music stops, you must rush to sit on the chair first. If you are the one still standing, you’re lost. If this is the case, you’re having a bad time and I’m afraid your lucky number is 0 and your favorite color black. My advice: Stay in your hotel room and order room-service.

Workshop for Short Films. The first workshop production of short film where you learn how to write and direct a silent film that speaks volumes!

In 1900, the Cinematograph gave us our first taste of film and we planned short, taut, comic adventures.

Participate in all stages of the creation of a silent film.

The Cinematography workshop takes the foundations of the seventh art through a workshop dedicated to the secrets of making a film, from writing a screenplay, the interpretation of characters up to the realization (the frame, the organization of a board and its various businesses).

Training lasts about 90 minutes and continues by also filming for 90 minutes. Cinématograf The workshop can accommodate 10 to 400 people, divided into groups (sets) 10 to 18 people supervised by a coach.

See the finished films from the first workshop here.

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