Star Wars: New Names, New Lightsaber, New Serkis Rumors

We’re off to the races with Star Wars: The Force Awakens. We’ve got character names and everything!

First off, about last week: I was contacted by some people who would know and they very much denied the majority of the bullet-point rumors from SpoilerMan. If you’re playing along at home, best to depreciate the value of those rumors. However, I couldn’t get them replaced with actual facts about Leia or Domhnall Gleeson, so I’d rather know lies than nothing. Knowing nothing eats away at the core of other things and creates and unscratchable itch. I’ll salve it with bullsh*t, why not?

There were actual things said by people’s in positions of authority this week about Star Wars and, that - of course - begins with the big character name reveals from Entertainment Weekly.

Done in the style of the old Star Wars Topps Trading cards,

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