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These 30-Year-Old Movies Are Desperately in Need of a Remake

What was allowed in 1986 is cringeworthy today

Two movies I loved as a child celebrated their 30th anniversaries recently, and when I looked back upon them nostalgically, as one does, I saw products of their time that mostly hold up — save for one horribly dated, unforgivable element each. The kind of offense that makes it hard to still appreciate the movie when that one inexcusable part dominates your mind.

Both “Crocodile” Dundee and Short Circuit have decent scripts. The former was even nominated for an Oscar. The latter remains quotable. Their main characters are major figures of 1980s pop culture. Not on the level of Arnold Schwarzenegger and E.T., but higher up than Yakov Smirnoff and The Noid. But I can no longer enjoy these movies. Not as they are, anyway.

Their respective crimes are things that shouldn’t have even been tolerated at the time. In Dundee it’s a scene where Paul Hogan’s titular

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