Poll: Directors that Need to be Punished by Law!
Members of the jury, which if the below usual suspects do you feel is most worthy of their sentence? Judge the offenders here Please note: This poll is intended to be humorous and is not to be taken seriously
Poll by: The-Social-Introvert
Created Jan 6 2016
George “I hate sand, it’s coarse” Lucas Crime: - 3x accounts of forcing the Star Wars prequels on the world, complete with an overuse of CGI, cardboard cut-out acting, and trade federations - 3x accounts of tinkering with the original Star Wars trilogy - Jar Jar Binks Punishment: To be forced to make film with a limited budget, a tight schedule and poor working conditions, in order to remind him of his time on the first Star Wars movie and to make him see the error of his ways...followed by Life Imprisonment for giving us Jar Jar
Michael “because I can” Bay Crime: - 3x accounts of releasing the Transformers films on the general public, complete with sexism, racial stereotypes and Shia LaBouf - 2x accounts of ruining your childhood by producing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the aforementioned Transformers franchise - He’s Michael Bay Punishment: To hang by the neck until dead...until he's brought back to life for sequels
Peter “The Wolf of Hollywood” Jackson Crime: - 3x accounts of theft from the general public – stretching The Hobbit films needlessly into three films for financial gain - 3x accounts of deceiving the general public – leaving out key scenes from The Hobbit trilogy for the extended edition - 1x account of upsetting Ian McKellen Punishment: To be tied to a chair and be forced to repeatedly watch The Lord of The Rings movies and Dead Alive so he remembers what made him great
Ridley “The Ripper” Scott Crime: - Repeat offenses of cutting and releasing multiple versions and director cuts of his films, including a staggering 7 different forms of Blade Runner - Suspicion of intention to murder his own franchises, including Alien (with a lethal dose of Prometheus) and Blade Runner (by reportedly planting a sequel) Punishment: Community service, in the form of press conferences for fans explaining just why he made Prometheus, Robin Hood and Exodus
Andy & Lana: “The Wachowski Broth…erm, Siblings” Crime: - Substance abuse: Caving in to the drug known as the George Lucas Pill, in which the victim derails their own movies with pitiful, CGI-infested sequels Punishment: To be given the blue pill
Oliver "That's what they WANT you to think!" Stoned...I mean, Stone Crime: - Conspiring to terrorise audiences with sleep-inducing subliminal weapons in the forms of Alexander and W. - Releasing a Weapon of Mass Boredom with Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps Punishment: To have his home invaded and stripped of any more suspected Weapons of Mass Boredoms. Let's take all his furniture and cutlery while we're at it!
M. Night Shyamalan
M Night “It’s a twist!” Shyamalan Crime: - 9x accounts of attacking audiences with random left-field plot twists - Having a surname that you…yes YOU have, on more than one occasion, pronounced as Shamalamadingdong Punishment: A fine of $1million for every twist that- Hold on…it’s another twist!!! You’re in prison and M Night is the warden!
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