Poll: Roundup the Funny Suspects
Choose the film with the funniest crooks.
Poll by: horn-5
Created Feb 2 2014
Guys and Dolls (1955)
Big Jule: If it gets around in Chicago that I went to a prayer meeting, no decent person will talk to me!
Flickering Lights (2000)
Stefan: Whose blood is it? Peter: Oh, just some customers'.
Little Miss Marker (1934)
Sorrowful 'Sir Sorry' Jones: All right, take his marker. A little doll like this is worth twenty bucks any way you look at it. Regret: Yeah, she ough…
Customs official: Anything to declare? Avi: Yeah. Don't go to England.
A Slight Case of Murder (1938)
Remy Marco: Sure, I'm legit. I'm in favor of law and order. But you don't have to have it right in your own house, do you?
Prizzi's Honor (1985)
Irene Walker: Charley, I've been doin' three to four hits a year for the past couple of years, most at full pay. Charley Partanna: That many? Irene …
Kiss Me Kate (1953)
Bianca: [after Fred Graham kisses her to shut her up] I was just saying "Thank you"! Slug: How do you suppose she says "You're welcome…
Ball of Fire (1941)
Joe Lilac: [as the professors draw guns on Joe and his men] What is this? Prof. Oddly: I believe... I think it is known as an "up-stick".
Pocketful of Miracles (1961)
Joy Boy: What's with her? Dave the Dude: Aah, she just wants a bunch of kids. Joy Boy: Kids? Aw, they're mean when they get on that kick.
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
Eddie: They're armed. Soap: What was that? Armed? What do you mean armed? Armed with what? Eddie: Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster…
Get Shorty (1995)
Chili Palmer: That was "Rio Bravo." Robert Mitchum played the drunk in "El Dorado." Dean Martin played the drunk in "Rio Brav…
Broadway Danny Rose (1984)
Tina Vitale: [lost in New Jersey] Hey, wait a minute! I know where we are. These are the flatlands. My husband's friends used to dump bodies here. Da…
Bullets Over Broadway (1994)
Nick: Let's avoid confusion. She'll get some lines, or I'll nail your knee caps to the floor.
Lady for a Day (1933)
Happy McGuire: That should be a cinch. Butler: I beg your pardon, Sir. Happy McGuire: I said that should be a leadpipe cinch! Butler: If I had choi…
The Ladykillers (1955)
Professor Marcus: One-Round, there is a wheelbarrow outside, could you fetch it? The Major has a train to catch.
The Whole Town's Talking (1935)
Arthur Ferguson Jones: You know something, a woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
Robin and the 7 Hoods (1964)
Robbo: You look like the day they fixed the electricity at the death house.
Wonder Man (1945)
Edwin: I don't want to go to Brooklyn. You can't make me. I don't *want* to go to Brooklyn. Bus Driver: None of us want to, bud, but we all gotta go …
Some Like It Hot (1959)
Joe: We didn't see anything! Jerry: We didn't hear anything either!
Brother Orchid (1940)
Flo Addams: That's Clarence makin' birdcalls. He's awful good. Clarence P. Fletcher: [makes a hooting sound] Flo Addams: Want him to impersonate a r…
All Through the Night (1942)
Sunshine: Shut up, the guy's dead. Barney: Well, I'm reasonably sorry.
Foxy Brown (1974)
Bobbie: Listen skinny, before you start talking tough, I'd better warn you I've got a black belt in karate. So why don't you get out of here quietly, …
Who Done It? (1942)
Chick Larkin: [talking about Juliet Collins] She's only got a couple of buck teeth. Mervin Q. Milgrim: Why do I care what she paid for them?
It Ain't Hay (1943)
Umbrella Sam: [when asked why he always carries his umbrella, rain or shine] How should I know... I'm a Damon Runyon character!
The Lemon Drop Kid (1951)
Sidney Melbourne: Santy Claus don't drink. Gloomy Willie: Oh, no? Well, how come he's always falling down chimleys?
Mr. Canton and Lady Rose (1989)
Jackie becomes the head of a gang through the purchase of some lucky roses from an old lady.
Money from Home (1953)
Virgil: Me and my big mouth. I'd get rid of it, except it's such a handy place to keep my teeth.
The Italian Job (1969)
Keats: They say he's going to do a job in Italy. Mr. Bridger: Well, I hope he likes spaghetti. They serve it four times a day in the Italian prisons.
Sweet and Lowdown (1999)
Blanche: Do you get a bigger kick doing this, or stealing small objects?
Beat the Devil (1953)
Ahmed: Your demands are very great, under the circumstances. Billy Dannreuther: Why shouldn't they be? Fat Gut's my best friend, and I will not betra…
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
Perry: You don't get it, do you? This isn't "good cop, bad cop." This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.
Stand Up Guys (2012)
Doc: [stealing a gangster's car] This is not a good idea, Val. Val: Yeah, well, my life is full of not good ideas.
A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
Wendy: Well, *thank* you for popping in and protecting us. Otto: If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking *German!* Singing "Deutschland, Deut…
Burn After Reading (2008)
Osbourne Cox: If you ever carried out your proposed threat you would experience such a *beep* of consequences my friend your empty little head would b…
The Big Lebowski (1998)
The Dude: Yeah, well. The Dude abides. The Stranger: The Dude abides. I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out t…
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