• Like most who've commented, I saw this film with the help of MST3K, and I have to admit that this is one of the very few films I couldn't watch without it (along with the Coleman Francis trilogy and Manos).

    There is so much wrong with this film that it's hard to start. The plot (if it can really be called that) is a retread, a boring premise (house with dark secret) that's been done to death in every other horror film ever made. The male lead, Jody (yes, JODY), is an ineffectual dope whose most memorable contribution to the film is yelling "Zah!" The "villain," Lucinda, is an ugly troll-like hag who can only spout gibberish when she's not busy hacking useless side characters into giblets. The love interest, Melissa, is a empty-headed ditz whose most enjoyable moment is showing Jody where "the fish lives" (and, quite fittingly for this film, is the character with the "dark secret").

    Combine all this with horribly stilted dialogue (it feels like almost 3/4s of the film is pauses, either between lines or between words) and pacing somewhere between "cold molasses" and "glacier" (not to mention the fact that the first verse of "Amazing Grace" is used about 20 times in the film) and you have a movie that doesn't even manage to be affably mediocre or so-bad-it's-good, much less scary. Avoid this film at all costs, unless MST3K are shielding you from this film's dreadful slowness.