...the results would still make more sense than "Prince Of Space".
Let me see if I can summarize the events in this film:
POS:"Your weapons have NO effect on me!!!" Krankor: "Kill him!! Fire!!!" Later: POS: "No, seriously, your weapons have NO effect on me!!!" Krankor: "FIRE! Kill him!!!" Later yet: POS: "Aren't you listening? YOUR WEAPONS HAVE NO EFFECT OF ME!!!" Krankor: "Destroy him! Fire!!" Even Later Yet: POS: "Are you COMPLETELY BRAIN DEAD? YOUR WEAPONS W-O-N-T W-O-R-K!!!!!" Krankor: "Ya SCUM! Kill him! Fire!!!" (Lather- Rinse - Repeat....)
All right, I realize, right up front, that POS was obviously some kind of television serial thing intended for Japanese children.Someone must have taken 3 or 4 episodes of the show and then edited them down into something resembling a 'movie'. And I am reasonably sure that in the original format and in the original Japanese, this stuff may have been juvenile and cheesy, but also harmless fun. So I maintain that we can't completely blame Japan for the finished product that appeared on our shores. But still.
This is one of the worst dubbing/translation jobs in the history of cinema. I kid you not - the only one I can recall that even compares is one of the later "Gamera" films where the dubbing actors obviously didn't understand English and read the whole script phonetically. It's just astoundingly bad - you couldn't get worse lines and readings if you'd hired a dozen MOnty Python style "Gumby" characters for your voice talent.
And even for a juvenile television serial, every production choice, will have you dropping your jaw in befuddlement. The producers wanted the villains to not intimidate or scare their young audience, so they chose to make them 'chicken men' dressed in white leotards, with long spirit-gum noses, knee goiters, etc. And then, because they secretly hate children and wanted to scar them emotionally , they had Krankor, the chief bad guy, run around in a body stocking with his 'landing gear' swinging free and easy. I'm almost fifty years old, and I can't tell you how upsetting this is.
And the whole film is like this. The Krankor warship is a roast turkey with decals. The Prince-Of-Space cruiser is a Norelco Nose Hair Trimmer with pipe cleaners. The Guardian looks like a WWE reject whose nose-and-ear hair got out of control. The Prince looks like a rejected extra in a Ken Russell film about Zorro. It's all just dopey and goofy beyond comprehension.
If you have any tolerance for silly, stupid, cinema, this movie will make you laugh until you pass out.
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