• Anyone ever watch an episode of the Sentinel? Or MacGyver? Ever wonder what would happen if they took the plot for it and stretched it to full movie length without padding the extra time at all? Welcome to Firewall. Soon to be MST3K fodder.

    Harrison Ford plays Jack (no, not Ryan), a tech savvy superman working for a Seattle bank. His family is taken hostage by a crew run by Paul Bettany (who seems to do a spot on impersonation of Michael Des Barres throughout the film).

    The gist of it? Loot some of the richest accounts the bank has and we let you and your family go. Try to trick us and you pay the consequences.

    Bettany's planning is incredibly detailed for a villain, but where there are holes, there are chasms. The scenes play out virtually identically to more than one episode of the Sentinel, only with some of the worst pacing in cinema.

    Do not waste money on this film. Wait until it shows up on FX, or better still, a Sunday afternoon movie before a ballgame.

    I would personally be amazed if this did not make the Razzies shortlist next year. But because my girlfriend enjoyed it, I'll only just rank it below average.