"Touch Of Satan" has the feel of a movie destined for the 3rd feature at an drive-in triple feature. You get the feeling that by the time this thing started rolling at 1:00 am, everyone left at the drive-in was either 90% asleep, drunk off their butts, or so involved in heavy petting that it didn't matter what was on the screen. So on that level, TOS worked fine. It filled in 90+ minutes of screen and gave the night-owls some video background to accompany whatever their real priority happened to be at the time.
Unfortunately, I had to watch it while wide awake, 100% sober, and undistracted by any opportunity to smooch and make out. And so I have little use (or pity) for this movie....and I have to confess that it was so incredibly dull that I had a lot of trouble making myself pay attention to it. I kept pausing the VCR to get a soda, or go to the bathroom, or make myself a sandwich, or make a phone call, or to start the dishwasher. Then I'd get back, start things up again, and try to pay attention for another 5 minutes...only to decide it was time to start the laundry, or pay a couple of bills, or do some push-ups...
But unless a movie is actively offensive or horrifically awful, I always try to watch a movie all the way through and give it every chance to prove itself. So I eventually got to the end of "TOS", and my final reaction was...."Meh.".
I have to admit, there is the germ of a decent, unsettling story in this movie, and there is a plot twist that could actually be considered somewhat clever. The cinematography is OK in a 70's "Movie Of the Week" way, and the young romantic leads are decent looking, if not particularly striking. But even though director Tom Laughlin (of "Billy Jack" and "Master Gunfigher" fame) had previously managed to make some involving (if contrived) movies, here he couldn't pace a dramatic scene to save his life, and he definitely didn't have the know-how or the talent to make these uncharismatic actors carry the movie. Maybe he should have stuck to directing himself and his regular cast of cronies. Or maybe he should have stuck in some hapkido or some gunfighting to pick things up a bit. He definitely didn't have a feel for "horror".
As a previous reviewer astutely commented, this movie screams for a remake. Unlike good older movies, which are often happy accidents of inspiration, zeitgeist, and talent, the addition of modern 'gee-whiz' MTV jump cuts, CGI, and hot young actors would add a lot of visual interest to the proceedings, and would help frame the mildly interesting plot in a flattering way that held the viewer's attention.
However, that probably isn't going to happen. Hollywood is never going to be that desperate for material that this dull-tastic collection of 70's clichés will ever get a shiny new outfit.
Even in the MST version, the guys just didn't have anything to work with. That's kind of sad.
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