• Warning: Spoilers
    Far better cinema lies lost and forgotten.

    I confess to actually seeing this on its release at the local flea-pit. In mitigation, I claim to have been dragged there by an older sister. I was about 14 years old at the time and blame that viewing for reversing my puberty. Or something...

    Gonks were a sort of precursor to the 'Cabbage-Patch Doll'. They enjoyed a very brief and over-hyped fashion boom. And I suspect this movie was all part of the same, though it pretty well proved to be the kiss of death, for obvious reasons to those who have viewed it.

    At the time I thought it pointless, but interesting for the music. Can't remember my sister's opinions. Two feuding nations called Beatland and Ballad-isle. Yeah, right.

    Other commentators seem to have missed the best joke of the movie. The Martian's name is Wilco Roger. That's the reverse of 'Roger, wilco'. Get it? Hilarious. It was the radio response from 'Carry On Cabbie' also starring Kenneth Connor.

    I don't think it won any Oscars.