Review

  • Warning: Spoilers
    Look, I can enjoy a mindless Van Damme action flick like anybody else. I liked a lot of his movies like Hard Target, Sudden Death, Kickboxer, Bloodsport, Death Warrant, Universal Soldier, In Hell etc but if there was one movie I had to single out as Van Damme's worst it would have to be Cyborg.

    Story: Gibson(Jean Claude Van Damme) is out for revenge after a gang of punks lead by Fender(Vincent Klyn)killed his family. He ends up having to look after a cyborg that holds a cure for a disease that has wiped out half of the world.

    We could talk about how bad the acting is but that's preaching to the choir. The sets look like crap and the whole film reeks of low budget. The villain Fender(who looks like a rejected Garbage Pail Kid) wins the ham of the year award in 1989 hands down. He is some cornball that beats up on people and is used to spouting silly lines like "take you to the murder show" and "I like the pain, I like the misery, I like this wooooorrrld!". The fights scenes(which are usually the bread and butter of JCVD movies) suck horribly and top it off the movie is boring. Everybody looks like they've been mud wrestling all day and for a hero of the movie, Gibson spends most of the time getting his butt kicked. The final battle between Gibson and Fender is downright cheesy(and not in a fun way I might add). In short Cyborg is JCVD's worst movie and yes, I've seen, The Order, Street Fighter and Universal Soldier: The Return. Even JCVD most cheesiest films have an entertainment value to them but not Cyborg. Its a boring mess that is quite possibly the worst post-apocalyptic film of all time. I guess I shouldn't expect a decent film under the same director that gave you Adrenalin: Fear The Rush.