I am a fifteen year old girl and I loathed this film.
The film begins with the main character, a teenage girl named Georgia (with the most annoying accent I have ever heard), happily walking down the street dressed as an olive. She arrives at a fancy-dress party and has to face the terrible humiliation of being the only one dressed as a food. How will Georgia cope? Will she do the most natural thing and take off the costume if she's that embarrassed about it and have a fun evening with her friends? No, of course not. That makes too much sense.
What she DOES do is storm over to her friends, demand why they aren't wearing costumes like hers as they agreed, then deems their excuses as inadequate and runs out of the place, knocking over drinks and plates of biscuits and people along the way. She then goes running through the streets, still dressed as a stuffed olive. Actually, that scene is the film's main highlight as it did almost change my look of disbelief to a weak smile for a second or two.
After arriving home and throwing a full on tantrum which involves stomping on her costume, ripping photos off the walls and throwing all her teddy-bears onto the floor, Georgia takes a deep breath and announces to the family that she's going to be 'more mature from now on'. Well, she's made a good start! Drinks all around! At school the next day, suddenly Georgia and her three school-mates are all best friends again. Obviously there was a major plot point when I wasn't looking. And during their lunch break, they notice two new guys strolling through the grounds. And 'it's boy-stalking time!' Yes, that's their dialogue. Okay, maybe teenagers talked like that in 1886, but come on, screenwriter. Get with the times.
They stalk the poor boys through a montage, taking notes and spying on them through a pair of binoculars (and even breaking out into an utterly ridiculous dance routine at the end). I half expected them to all tie their shoelaces every time the boys turned around. But this didn't happen, mainly because the boys didn't, not once, turn around, a fact that I find pretty amazing. How hard can four giggling-screeching-in-uniform-linking-arms-armed-with-binoculars schoolgirls be to spot? And so, obviously, Georgia gets to know the guy she's got her eye on (Robbie) and yes, obviously he already has a girlfriend. Georgia is heartbroken. I was mildly perturbed. I imagined what Georgia would tell the rest of her friends to be something like this: You know that handsome guy I talked to for eight seconds? Well, he has a girlfriend! I've never felt so BETRAYED! Anyway, Georgia tries to make him jealous by going out with another guy
(screenwriter's motto: 'originality is, like, so overrated') he finds out and makes her feel bad
(oh, the twists and turns!) etc, etc. You know the drill. It's only been done eight million times already.
So, after a lot of boring events laced with clichés that are too tiresome to think about, let alone write down, Georgia and her bestie, Jaz, split up and throw catty insults at each other during a netball game, the grand, dramatic finale when Georgia stomps on Jaz's foot. Oh, the horror.
The second-last sequence in the movie is a bit of a mystery to me because at the start of the film, Georgia was unpopular in her school, but suddenly, her night-club is packed with what looks like the entire population of her state, everyone cheering and throwing confetti like she's just handed out free flip-phones. And then Jaz comes up to her and hugs her as if nothing ever happened between them, forcing me to conclude that an entire chapter was cut out of the film for pace reasons. Either that, or I accidentally slept through it. Anyway, for reasons the film doesn't care to share, Georgia is now officially a hero. I have heard of the term 'suspension of disbelief' and actively engage in it with popcorn-fare such as the Indiana Jones films, and any line Orlando Bloom says, but this is going too far. Sorry movie, but no humans act like this. Not in any state, in any country, on any planet.
I thereby conclude that 'Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging' is the worst teenage film I have ever seen. Eye-clawingly bad.
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