Review

  • I'm not going to lie. I hate reality television. I really do. Everyday, everywhere you turn, there's a new reality show on the horizon for obnoxious (mostly young) people who clearly don't deserve the attention they're getting on their own reality show, only to have them become tabloid fodder for the next several months after the show has faltered or been replaced by a new one. Everybody knows about Paris Hilton, the Kardashians (Khloe, not Kim, is one curvaceous Armenian-American bombshell, by the way), Kendra Wilkinson, the various "Love" shows on VH1, and now MTV has put out their latest: "Jersey Shore."

    Seriously, what is our American culture coming to? Have we really been reduced to an "idiocracy"? According to Mike Judge's 2006 film, yes we have.

    "Jersey Shore" became a huge hit when it debuted in December 2009, and also sparked a myriad of controversies stemming from its negative portrayal of eight Italian-American young people (according to Wikipedia, only five of the eight 20-somethings are actually of genuine Italian ancestry), who have a summer share on New Jersey's Seaside Heights community and thus bringing a lot of unwelcome notoriety to the area. These eight self-proclaimed "Guidos/Guidettes" (four Italian-American men and four Italian-American women) - alpha male Mike "The Situation," DJ Pauly D, Ronnie, Vinny (my personal "favorite," meaning he's the least annoying and he is essentially a nice, good guy who for the most part stays out of the worst trouble), Sammi "Sweetheart" (the only one of the cast members who is actually from New Jersey), Jenni "JWoww," Angelina "Jolie," and fan-favorite Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi - spend their summer on Jersey Shore partying, hooking up, tanning, drinking, fixing their hair (guys and girls both), clubbing, fighting, and engaging in every other form of debauchery known to man while also finding some time taking turns working in a boardwalk t-shirt store.

    "Jersey Shore" is pretty atypical when it comes to reality television. The show is pure trash, pure unbridled trash. But like most guilty pleasure television, "Jersey Shore" keeps you watching no matter how much it goes against your better judgment, and however many brain cells you might kill by tuning in to watch new episodes every week. It's an instance in which you'll be watching it one minute, and then kicking yourself the next for doing so. The characters are typical reality show fodder: the alpha male, the entertainer, the bitch/drama queen, the slut, the troublemaker, the instigator, the stalwart nice hero guy - you get the point, because we've seen it all before. None of the characters are particularly likable or sympathetic (except for my "favorite," of course, Vinny), but they are engaging and have over-sized egos and personalities that have launched them into pop culture stardom, whether they are deserving of it or not.

    In other words, they're here to stay, whether we like it or not...

    MTV really outdid themselves with "Jersey Shore"; not only was the show a ratings success (as of now, a third season is already in the works), but it has become a bona-fide pop culture phenomenon complete with t-shirts, endorsements, and its own "Jersey Shore"-esquire lingo ("yo, that ugly chick in the jacuzzi's a 'grenade'"). Already, "The Situation" is set to gain $5 million by the end of the year in a planned autobiography book deal, a workout fitness routine, and various other endorsements. Ronnie was charged with aggravated assault stemming from an incident in which he knocked out a guy who had confronted him at a nightclub. And poor little "Snooki" was recently charged with annoying people on the beach while heavily intoxicated; and she also got her lights punched out by some guy at a bar during the first season (poor "Snooki" - she's got a big mouth, all right, but no one deserves to get hit like she did by a big drunken coward like she did, no matter how annoying she was being).

    "Jersey Shore" is trash entertainment, purely. I'm addicted to this show now, I think, after having purchased the first season on DVD after scattered viewings on TV got my mouth watery for 20-something New Jersey-style antics and debauchery. I can't stop thinking or talking about it with people who care for it. Yes, sir, that's reality TV infamy for you, and it worked its magic on yet another poor soul who will be feeling very sorry for having watched it on an ultra-curious whim...