Review

  • Warning: Spoilers
    First off- a quote from the film:

    Solo: My brain isn't in my head. It's in here Girl: If your brain is in your chest, where is your heart? Solo: I don't have one.

    I'm beginning to become like a dowsing rod for a bad film. Either that or I'm just watching films that come on Channel 5 more often. I kept seeing ads for Solo and just got that feeling that it would be worth watching, as 1) Mario Van Peebles is crap and 2) It was on Channel 5. Van Peebles is a cyborg built by the military to waste folk. Trouble is he's got a design fault that makes him NOT kill people. Doh. So they decide to get rid of him but he picks up the message to suspend the project (how I'm not sure - he just sort of looks up at a wall), so he jumps ship and heads for a South American village, which is naturally being bullied by rebels or drug dealers or something. I'm not to sure what they are, but be assured the village is full of stereotypes for Solo to interact with. The military sends out Sadler to kick Solo's ass, but Sadler is nuts and seems to shoot people just for the sake of it. Meanwhile Solo is teaching the locals how to fight, as being a computer type allows him to translate Spanish, but then the film forgets and everyone just talks English or something. This film is a mish-mash of Robocop, Universal Soldier and Terminator. It's also very very stupid and unintentionally funny. I loved the love interest, even though he's a robot. Or many of the inexplicable moments that are never explained, like how Solo just appears in a pool of water, how he jumps up onto a helicopter, or how connecting himself up to a generator charges him up. There's very little violence until the end, when everyone gets wasted. Sadler gets his back broke and then reappears as a cyborg! The word 'illogical' is overused by Solo in his attempts to be more human, and the scene where he's being taught what a joke his had me cringing. Are Van Damme films as bad as this? If they are, I might give them a go.