Thomas! You is a bad cat! There ain't enough hours in the day! Ah was working for dem white folks when my lady Missus Nomed comes o home all freaking out 'bout some family curse turn all those women into monsters. I says, Sho, you don't want to be fussing bout no family curse now, hone, you just' be doing yo thang with the g-strange, blood. Ah says, I'm only an outrageous ethnic stereotype with ma pantyhose an de Uncle Tom mannerisms, but ah knows me ah fairly good horror pick when ah sets ma eyes on it. An' ah still make me own biscuits....
Ah says "When you gonna stop turning all green-eyed and killing folks like the grounds keeper an the delivery boy and your Aunt. Ain't no way that gonna stop di curse of the Nomed family. What about dat disco DJ guy who look'n like a BeeGEE? Why'd you go burning him in his car? Was down by dat ol' swabby ribber?
Then Ah says "And why d'you cast lill ol me as the most anti civil rights crappy ethnic stereotype ever? Ah expected ol Bernarnd Manning to stroll through de front door and give me a loving slap. Just as well di film din't steep so slow as to kill ma *ss off. But di scene where ah run off was just as bad. Like a film from de twenties, bwana.
Ah did like the bit where Mrs Nomed's breasts turned into lill bitty demons and chewed up Marjore Gunter. Dat good soul horror.
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