• Watching Edward James Olmos last night in his latest role as the good/bad guy on "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." I had pleasant memories of meeting him (out at dinner with guest star Rosanna DeSoto) in Miami in 1985 and later interviewing him when he became a director with American ME. But sitting through a crummy XXX ripoff MARINA VICE brings one crashing back to reality.

    Buck Adams has played a detective many times, and for this junker he's paired with veteran Billy Dee for a truly unimpressive approximation of the Don Johnson/Philip Michael Thomas chemistry (even worse than Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx). Dee affects a fake West Indies accent, just one of so many things wrong with this picture.

    Their case is to take down evil drug kingpin John Holmes. They raid a boat and find Summer Rose, and ask her for info about Holmes. Since Rose is an anal specialist it's not surprising when our intrepid heroes redefine bromance doing a d.p. number on her.

    The climax of a poorly staged action scene, where Holmes conveniently puts his gun down on the carpet so the duo can get the drop on him is par for the course. Breaking the fourth wall, Holmes turns to the camera at the finish to announce "I'll be back".

    No, my dead limp-dicked fellow, I am not sad that no sequel occurred.