JoshIrpacido Review of The Haunting of Whaley House

The Haunting of Whaley House (2012)

This House is Haunted as F***!

[5/10 · 12 October 2016]

Now, I was just like you a couple weeks ago, I thought that this was going to be a bad movie. When I sat down and actually bothered to watch it, and not listen to the reviews on this site, I was pleasantly surprised. Now before we start, I would like to say that, I have not been to the Whaley House. I've not seen photos of this place, but from what I read the stories are pretty accurate. I'm am reviewing this as a stand alone movie, not as a companion piece to the house itself. First, let's get into the plot. Penny is a tour guide on the most haunted house in America, when a girl suffers a seizure after witnessing some scary sh** go down in the house. Penny doesn't believe that their are really ghosts, but her mentor thinks the opposite, as she's been working there for over 30 years. She tells Penny three important rules. 1. Don't call the ghosts out. 2. Don't damage the house. 3. Don't ever go inside the house at night. Penny then goes to hang with her friends; Jake, Vanessa, Craig, and Giselle at the cemetery. Because, that's where people go to talk among friends. I don't know, I could be wrong. After all, I have no friends of my own. Who am I to judge? She tells them about the earlier seizure, which leads into a conversation about how whether or not ghosts are real. They convince Penny to sneak them into the Whaley House at night, and Craig brings along his cousin, twice removed, black-a** Ray. Ray also brings along his famous psychic friend, Keith Drummond. After this, they start exploring the Whaley House. This is the 2nd out of 2 movies I've done on this account that many people do not like. The Asylum doesn't particularly help this movie win with critics and movie fans. I don't know why. This movie is clichéd and standard, but it's an okay movie. Where this movie excels is in it's sense of terror, as well as horror scene. Unlike what you would normally expect from horror movies today, let alone The Asylum, this movie decides to go the old school route in terms of anticipation and terror. I thought that this movie wasn't going to be that scary. Holy sh**, I was wrong! The movie really reels you into the scares thanks to moments of quiet, the bone- chilling screams of the Whaley family, sudden appearances and disappearances, and the history of the house itself. Every ghost is terrifying, when you hear from Keith that Thomas Whaley, or Anna Whaley are nearby, you feel like you are going to sh** your pants. The little girl, while being your standard creepy little girl, somehow manages to stand out above the crowd. F*** you Sakako and Kayako, the Whaley girl's here to stay. I hated anytime they mentioned Yankee Jim. With a name like, coupled with a name like Santiago, as well as the fact that he's a lanky 6 foot 4 wall monster, who is still scary even if you don't really see it in the dark lighting. The movie has your basic jumpscares, but they're so little of them around, that they actually turn into pretty terrifying moments. The design of the ghosts is what really makes this movie scary. Every time you see them, you feel uneasy. While it exceeds expectations in the scare department, it doesn't really do so for the other aspects. There are points where the movie is dark, the characters are your basic clichéd young people, and the story is really lacking, but who cares when you've got scares. The characters even go beyond the clichés. Even when they're complete a**holes, you still fear for their lives, and want them to live. It was honestly saddening to see and hear Penny's pleas for help to get out of the house at the end of the movie. The acting is fairly average in this movie, not so good, but also not bad. The worst offender is definitely Keith. The actor who plays him looks like he's always smelling sh** in the air. The actor who plays Ray also stands out from the rest of the group. He manages to play Ray as a geek and as a scared black guy, so over the top, that it actually works for the movie. He was one of my favorite parts of the Whaley House. In my honest opinion, I say that this is a good movie for The Asylum, but it's only okay. I give it a 5/10. They might've not been able to film in the real Whaley House, but the replacement will also be stuck in my head. This movie is the stuff of nightmares. --JoshTheCelluloader