Review of Lavender

Lavender (I) (2016)
2/10
1.5 hour movie with 15 minutes worth of clips
7 March 2017
Oh. My. God. If I have ever seen a slow-paced movie, they seem like roller-coasters now. This title is only rivaled by that French joke of a horror movie called They Came Back (100 minutes of my life; gone).

Nothing happened for the first half hour besides the introduction of the characters and the main character living her life in between zoning out to annoying violin (or cello?) tunes for looong seconds. Literally two seconds of Dermot Mulroney and no Justin Long. Just as I was about to turn it off, though, my food arrived so I kept watching. Nothing kept happening for another 15 minutes, but right when I was closing the window for sure this time, a single interesting thing happened that involved Justin Long's character (and I love Justin Long) so I gave it yet another chance.

When there was more empty scenery and zoning out, I just skipped ahead to the revelation part, which wasn't too bad, and then it was finally over. I thanked God and ran here to try and stop others from wasting precious time.
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