An armored car robbery in Superstition, Arizona goes wrong, and there is only one survivor, Hank Brand (one of the guards), but the car, along with $7 million, is never seen again (several of the hijackers were killed, the rest vanished).
After 27 years of living in poverty, the retarded townsfolk still think Hank had something to do with it, and knows where the money is.
He dies, and his two sons decide to make one final search to prove their father's innocence, before leaving hicksville forever.
Bo Brand (Bill Paxton), an LA-based lawyer who is looking to cut ties with his past, and his retarded-even-by-this-town's-standards brother Todd, supposedly 17, played by a 25 year old.
Todd has been collecting newspaper clippings about the heist, as well as keeping correspondence with any witnesses. They journey to talk to the witnesses, to see if they can find any new clues on a 27 year old cold case.
They are joined by a hitchhiker who Todd is smitten with and refuses to continue without her tagging along, and eventually she claims the money, as the daughter of one of the killed guards (turns out her father was the inside man who was planning to abandon his family).
They are also being followed by a cop who blamed Hank (the now deceased guard) and decides to take out his revenge on the sons (what?), but first follows them with some hired mercenaries to see if they find the money.
The witnesses all have perfect recollection of the events, and it is told via non-linear flashback to younger versions who are completely unrecognizable as being played by other people, so it's a case of 'guess who's who'.
Add to this mess some terrible sound editing, no overdubs, a lousy choice of rock music tracks, which are mostly played over a car stereo cassette deck, and this movie isn't worth listening to.
Add poorly shot locations (we need more obscuring dust in this scene!), cheap set designs, with Bo Brand whining that he wants to leave, Todd Brand acting comically retarded but without the humor, it's not a movie worth seeing either.
In the final showdown, they shoot several of the mercenaries and the sheriff is set on fire. Whilst on fire, he manages to shoot the two brothers with a bow and arrow, that manages to pierce both of them while they're back-to-back. Get it? Back to back? Because they are also brothers looking out for each other? Yes, that's about as clever as this gets.
They finally find the truck, with the bodies of the last hijackers who betrayed each other, the last accidentally blew himself up with dynamite while trying to hide the truck in a old mine shaft.
The mine shaft is owned by a super-retarded husband and wife who run a B&B and tours into their other unsuccessful mine.
But here's the clincher. They knew the truck was there the whole time, with $7 million in cash sitting in the back.
The reason they didn't tell anyone is because the shaft leads into Superstition's most famous real-life legend, the lost Dutchman's gold mine (people have been looking (and dying) for it for over 100 years).
But they haven't mined any of that either. So two sources of massive wealth (estimates put the gold mine anywhere up to $200 million), and they've been running a run-down B&B for 27 years.
There is a tie-up for the main characters, but it's so stupid, I won't even bother mentioning them.
Bryn Pryor (aka Eli Cross) - as a guy complaining about the smell of fish. Alot. Now he makes porn movies. Very successful ones at that (with multiple awards and he was inducted into the AVN hall of fame in 2015)
Susan Anspach - old woman who doesn't want gold or cash. Starred in Montenegro (1981)
Ben Johnson - old man who doesn't want gold or cash. Appeared in over 100 movies, mostly westerns, from 1939 until his death in 1996. Was a steer roping champion like his father (where you get the gold belt buckle). Was a horse wrangler earning $1/day. His paycheck for his first Hollywood movie was $300 and he never went back
Apollonia Kotero - hitchhiker/daughter of inside man, co-starred with Prince in his movie Purple Rain
Todd Field - the retard's retard. Voiced Ol' Drippy in Aqua Teen Hunger Force, so he hasn't changed much
Bill Paxton - lead role as the older brother, a bit whiny, but totally overshadowed by the stupidity of everything in general
0 out of 2 found this helpful