Meredith Houseman (Simon Pegg) is housemaster of Sparta house in Slaughterhouse school: an ancient public school establishment steering England's future greats to greatness (which probably explains a lot about the current Brexit mess!). Houseman is not in a happy place, given that his girlfriend is now in deepest darkest African doing "good works" with handsome French doctors, and particularly that she is played by Margot Robbie: I would be also be sad... #punching!
New school starter Don Wallace (Finn Cole) is equally unhappy as he is a northern teen dragooned into attending the school by his well-meaning Mum (Jo Hartley). His strange room-mate Willoughby (Asa Butterfield) seems to be a chronic depressive; he is being picked on by the prefect-bully Clegg (Tom Rhys Harries); and his bed was previously occupied by a Viscount, since deceased under unpleasant circumstances that no-one wants to talk about. At least he has the distraction of the upper-sixth school goddess Clemsie Lawrence (Hermione Corfield) to take his mind off his woes.
All this washes over "The Bat" - the school's headmaster (Michael Sheen) - since he is engrossed in some shady deal with an evil corporation doing fracking in the school grounds. The fracking though seems to be doing more than just causing a few minor earth tremors, as ancient forces are unleashed.
The movie is positioned as a "comedy/horror", along the lines of "Shaun of the Dead". The film also has Frost and Pegg as executive producers and they also have starring roles in the film. But there the similarities really end: this is a "Cornetto film" without a cone of solid chocolate lurking at the bottom to enjoy.
The script (by director Crispian Mills and first-time screenwriter Henry Fitzherbert) is nowhere near as sharp as the Frost/Pegg scripts or their famous collaborations. The story overall makes precious little sense: it's a hodge-podge of elements from many Harry Potter films (especially "The Chamber of Secrets"), Lindsay Anderson's "If..."; and Roy Boulting's "The Guinea Pig"; with also a sprinkling of the anarchic essence of Michael Palin's classic "Tomkinson's Schooldays". The whole thing never manages to gel into a cohesive whole.
After the second reel, the film completely loses sight of the plot: there's a whole lot of running, screaming and dying going on but there's little logic behind any of it that I could fathom. What didn't help my comprehension of what was going on were some 'Cornetto-esque' sequences of manic editing. Images were thrown onto the screen so subliminally that any clever nuance was lost. I'm sure at one point there was a droll (if gross) segue at a "Roman orgy" of a girl receiving oral sex before being 'eaten out' in an entirely different way. But you would need a Blu-ray and a frame-by-frame pause function to get the joke.
That's not to say that I didn't laugh a few times along the way. There are some sight gags - for example, Wooten (Kit Connor) as the lad at the bottom of the bullying pecking order, chained to a U-bend - that made me laugh, and some running jokes - for example, Frost as the head of the anti-fracking camp offering the kids drugs at every encounter - that mildly amuse. But once again here's a British comedy that, like the atrocious "The Brits are Coming", thinks that "funny" largely revolves around swearing a lot - how useful that "frack" sounds so similar to another word - with added bodily dismemberment.
As for 'the turns', Pegg and Frost ham it up with their usual comedy schtick well enough, and it was quite fun to see Sheen try a comedy role for a change as the conniving and supercilious headmaster. Elsewhere all the young cast put their hearts into it, but it's again Asa Butterfield that your eyes gravitate to, due to his striking features. I last saw Asa in the excellent if harrowing WW1 drama "Journey's End", and he here proves again that he is a One Mann's Movies 'name to watch for the future'.
Overall, there's a lot to irritate in this film. From the "z" in the title to... well... about 80% of the film. There is no nuance or subtlety to either the writing or the direction. I think that's a great shame. The film has a good premise hidden in there. An adult comedy set around the ridiculous rules and rites of public schools (away from the light nonsense of "St Trinians") is overdue. And the whole subject of fracking, and the conflicts surrounding the controversial techniques, hasn't yet - to my knowledge - been explored in a fictional movie. The film does have a few very funny moments. But as a whole I left the cinema with that "wasted two hours" feeling. Not recommended.
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