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The Tickle Monster comes to earth and takes on various forms to torture the ticklish inhabitants.

On a cold Saturday afternoon, as day gives way to night, industrial carpet salesman Emery Long prepares for his first date with the sales department's receptionist, Della. Della used to date Emery's closest co-worker and friend, Ted Pinkenton, who has never gotten over her. Emery has planned the perfect evening, but soon realizes things might not turn out as he imagined.

Jimmy Clay, a bartender at a classic Chicago tavern, begins a typical quiet afternoon shift lost in his crossword puzzle . Soon enough, his first patron drifts in, a worn and sullen old man who has much to say about the modern state of being. While the patron prattles on, Jimmy becomes acutely irritated by this man's demand that things be done so particularly, or that otherwise, "things are lost." The bombastic entrance of a cellphone-addicted day-trader only intensifies a developing crisis, fueled by a maddening drink request that propels the bartender to wit's end.