Queen Louise: Why am I always awakened from my dreams?
Jacques: [singing] I'll lay the dish here / Ooh, la la la la! / To hold the fish here / Ooh, la la la la! / The serviettes here / And now the cigarettes here / And matches, too. / They mustn't complain. / A little candy / Ooh, la la la la! / A little brandy / Ooh, la la la la! / A bunch of roses / To show the way we entertain / And a little bottle of champagne.
Count Alfred Renard: You'll never miss me when I'm gone. Paris. But, I know that I'll miss you.
Count Alfred Renard: You took a lot of pains in teaching me. Why must we say - adieu? I've seen your madness and some of your wild tales, down where the Seine flows and where the champagne flows. You taught me all that a kiss could be. Paris, your judgment was good enough for me. With you each night meant the thrill of excitement. Mon amour and ladies that love to raise Hades. If I've been happy, then you're to blame. Oh, Paris, please - stay the same.
Queen Louise: It never seems to occur to you Gentlemen that there might possibly be some men who would enjoy being my husband, even if I were not a Queen. My face isn't actually painful to look at. My complexion's quite good. And in case your too serious-minded to notice such things, let me inform you my legs are perfect!
Queen Louise: And you call that a punishment? You're the most impudent man I've ever met! You seem to forget you're talking to your Queen.
Queen Louise: [singing] Understand me, you'll keep watch all day for me?
Count Alfred Renard: A good night watchman, I will be. I've learned that duty in Paris. You leave it to me.
Queen Louise: You better wait and see. We shall find how good you are.
Count Alfred Renard: I've had no complaints so far.
Queen Louise: You mean?
Count Alfred Renard: Anything to please the Queen!
Queen Louise: Very well, forget it. I'm no longer Queen Louise the first of Sylvania, but a woman. A mere woman. And you're meeting me for the first time. What would you do? What would you do?
Queen Louise: All this - the first time you meet?
Count Alfred Renard: Yes.
Queen Louise: Oh, oh, but, if it's like this at first, what can be left for later?
Count Alfred Renard: Plenty. If she appeals to you and if you find out that you love her, oh, there's plenty left. If she will like.
Queen Louise: Like!
Count Alfred Renard: If she will like.
Ambassador: A singi. A na who. A na who. Prostu, pass harr, Fo malu, a you.
Prime Minister: What does he say?
Afghan Ambassador's Translator: He says, man is man and woman is woman. And if you change that, causes trouble. He does not see how any man could stand being a wife. And therefore, he hopes this will be a most unhappy marriage.
Prime Minister: For heaven's sake, if he reports this to Afghanistan. Tell him, this is a love match. It will be the happiest marriage in the world.
Afghan Ambassador's Translator: Sara go. A fudu. Pera go knee. O sago chair ibear de bousay.
Ambassador: No chun-gu. No chun-gu. No chun-gu.
Jacques: Oh, it's s'wonderful being common!
Jacques: [singing] Squeeze me once. Squeeze me twice. It's most improper but oh it's nice! Let's be common and do it again!
Count Alfred Renard: Oh, I'm sick of being treated as if I were a sort of - plaything.