Animal Crackers (1930)

Margaret Dumont: Mrs. Rittenhouse

Photos 

Quotes 

• Capt. Spaulding : Now read me the letter, Jamison.

  Horatio Jamison : [reading]  "Honorable Charles H. Hungadunga..."

  Capt. Spaulding : [correcting him]  Hungerdunger.

  [they say the "hung" syllable in unison] 

  Capt. Spaulding : Hoong.

  Horatio Jamison : Hungerdunger.

  Capt. Spaulding : That's it, Hungerdunger.

  Horatio Jamison : [continues reading]  "... care of Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, and McCormick."

  Capt. Spaulding : You've left out a Hungerdunger. You left out the main one, too. Thought you could slip one over on me, didn't you, eh?

  [pause] 

  Capt. Spaulding : All right, leave it out and put in a windshield wiper instead.

  [Jamison nods and writes] 

  Capt. Spaulding : I tell you what you do, Jamison, I tell you what. Make it, uh, make it three windshield wipers and one Hungerdunger. They won't all be there when the letter arrives anyhow.

  Horatio Jamison : [rushes quickly through what he's just written]  "... Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger... and McCormick."

  Capt. Spaulding : And McCormick.

  Horatio Jamison : [reading]  "Gentlemen, question mark."

  Capt. Spaulding : [correcting him]  Gentlemen, question mark? Put it on the penultimate, not on the diphthongic. You wanna brush up on your Greek, Jamison. Well, get a Greek and brush up on him.

  Horatio Jamison : [reading]  "In re yours of the fifth inst..."

  Capt. Spaulding : I see.

  Horatio Jamison : Now, uh... you said a lot of things here that I didn't think were important, so I just omitted them.

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : Well!

  Capt. Spaulding : Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

  [suddenly tries to hit Jamison with his switch, but misses; he falls] 

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : [helps Spaulding up]  Oh, Captain! Good gracious! Oh, my.

  Capt. Spaulding : [to Jamison]  So, you just omitted them, eh? You just omitted the body of the letter, that's all. You've just left out the body of the letter, that's all. Yours is not to reason why, Jamison. You've left out the body of the letter.

  [pause] 

  Capt. Spaulding : All right, send it that way and tell them the body will follow.

  [swings his switch indignantly] 

  Horatio Jamison : Do you want the body in brackets?

  Capt. Spaulding : No, it'll never get there in brackets. Put it in a box. Put it in a box and mark it, uh..."fragilly."

  Horatio Jamison : Mark it what?

  Capt. Spaulding : Mark it fragilly. F-R-A-G... Look it up, Jamison, it's in the dictionary. Look under "fragile." Look under the table if you don't find it there.

• Mrs. Rittenhouse : Captain, this leaves me speechless.

  Capt. Spaulding : Well, see that you remain that way.

• Mrs. Rittenhouse : Oh, Captain Spaulding...

  Capt. Spaulding : I'll attend to you later.

  [turns back to the litter-bearers] 

  Capt. Spaulding : Don't try and pull that...

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : Oh, Captain Spaulding...

  Capt. Spaulding : [she finally succeeds in getting his attention]  Why, you're one of the most beautiful women I've *ever* seen, and that's not saying much for you.

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : Captain Spaulding, Rittenhouse Manor is entirely at your disposal.

  Capt. Spaulding : Well, I'm certainly grateful for this magnificent washout - er, turnout. And now I'd like to say a few words.

  [sings] 

  Capt. Spaulding : Hello, I must be going/I cannot stay, I came to say I must be going/I'm glad I came, but just the same, I must be going, la-la!

  [Tries to leave, the guests stop him] 

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : [sings]  For my sake, you must stay/If you should go away/You'd spoil this party I am throwing.

  Capt. Spaulding : [sings]  I'll stay a week or two/I'll stay the summer through/But I am telling you/I must be going

• Guests : Hooray for Captain Spaulding, the African explorer!

  Capt. Spaulding : Did someone call me schnorrer?

  Guests : Hooray, hooray, hooray!

  Horatio Jamison : He went into the jungle where all the monkeys throw nuts.

  Capt. Spaulding : If I stay here, I'll go nuts.

  Guests : Hooray, hooray, hooray! He put all his reliance / In courage and defiance / And risked his life for science.

  Capt. Spaulding : Hey, hey!

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : He is the only white man who covered every acre...

  Capt. Spaulding : I think I'll try and make her...

  Guests : Hooray, hooray, hooray!

• Capt. Spaulding : We three would make an ideal couple. Why you've got beauty, charm, money! You have got money, haven't you? Because if you haven't, we can quit right now.

  Mrs. Whitehead : The captain is charming, isn't he?

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : I'm fascinated!

  Capt. Spaulding : I'm fascinated, too. Right on the arm.

• Capt. Spaulding : One morning, I was sitting in front of the cabin, smoking some meat, when...

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : Smoking some meat?

  Capt. Spaulding : Yes. There wasn't a cigar store in the neighborhood.

• Capt. Spaulding : Something has been throbbing within me. Oh, it's been beating like the incessant tom-tom in the primitive jungle. Something that I must ask you.

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : What is it, Capt.?

  Capt. Spaulding : Would you wash out a pair of socks for me?

• Capt. Spaulding : [On his knees]  I love you, that's all. I love you. I've always thought of you.

  [In walks Mrs. Whitehead] 

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : Capt., Mrs. Whitehead.

  Mrs. Whitehead : I beg your pardon? I beg your pardon? Am I intruding?

  Capt. Spaulding : Are you intruding? Just when I had her on the five yard line.

• Ravelli : How 'bout playing some bridge? You play bridge?

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : I play bridge a little.

  Ravelli : What do you play for?

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : Oh, we just play for small stakes.

  Ravelli : And French fry potatoes?

• Roscoe Chandler : Hooray for Capt. Spaulding! Three cheers for Capt. Spaulding! Three cheers for Capt. Spaulding! Three cheers...

  [Harpo arrives with three chairs] 

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : No one asked for the chairs. Put them right were you found them. Now, get out.

• Capt. Spaulding : Now, Mrs. Rittenrotten.

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : Mrs. Rittenhouse.

  Capt. Spaulding : Yes, a slight error.

• Mrs. Rittenhouse : Capt. Spaulding, the guest of honor, will have the green duplex with the two baths.

  Hives : Two, madame?

  Mrs. Rittenhouse : Why, yes! I think the Capt. would like two baths, don't you?

  Hives : Well, if he's just returned from Africa, he may need two baths.

• Mrs. Rittenhouse : And now, it is my privilege to reveal the masterpiece of François Jacques Dubois Guilbert Beaugard.

  Capt. Spaulding : [imitating a railroad depot announcer]  No trains will be sold after the magazines leave the depot.