HORSE FEATHERS (Paramount, 1932), directed by Norman Z. McLeod, is not a movie about horse racing nor does it deal with flying horses, but a college campus comedy with a theme quite common during the Depression era by which one more wouldn't make much of a difference. However, this one does, becoming one of the very few college related stories that could still be seen and appreciated today. The reason being is that it stars those wild and crazy guys known as The Marx Brothers in another laugh frolic, their fourth for Paramount, and one so often imitated with quotes and routines that it never goes out of style. "Anything further father?" Well yes. The plot summary, such as it is:
The story opens at Huxley College where a professor (Reginald Barlow) announces his retirement to students and faculty members, and introduces its new president, Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff (Groucho Marx), accepting this position in order to find out why his son, Frank (Zeppo Marx), has been a student for twelve years without graduating. The fact that Frank's favorite studies are girls (like father, like son), he's been seeing quite a bit of Connie Bailey (Thelma Todd), the college widow. Because the college hasn't won a Thanksgiving football game since 1888, Frank informs his father the best way to get good football players is to go to a speakeasy (a common place where drinks are made and sold during Prohibition). Wagstaff does, at 42 Elm Street, where he encounters Baravelli (Chico Marx), an ice man, and Pinky (Harpo Marx), his partner working a dog catcher, both of whom he mistakes as professional football players, instead of getting Mullen and MacHardie (played by uncredited James Pierce and Nat Pendleton), who have already been selected by gambler Jennings (David Landau) to play for Huxley's rival college of Darwin, and who happens to be Connie's lover. Before the climactic super bowl, Jennings uses Connie to woo Wagstaff to get the football signals, while Wagstaff uses Baravelli and Pinky to kidnap Mullen and MacHardie. Guess who gets kidnapped instead? "Any questions? Any answers?"
HORSE FEATHERS consists of three songs composed by Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby including: "I'm Against It" (Sung by Groucho Marx) followed by "He Always Gets His Man" (sung by Groucho and professors/Zeppo briefly partakes his own lyrics in between these two songs). The one that gets the most reprises is "Everyone Says 'I Love You'" (Sung by Zeppo Marx to Thelma Todd; later sung by Chico Marx to Todd on piano, followed by another bit, "Collegiate"; Harpo's harp solo as he serenades Todd looking from her open window; and by Groucho Marx playing a guitar as Todd paddles the canoe as they are being followed by a duck - probably auditioning for the opening title sequence for the upcoming Marx Brothers venture, DUCK SOUP). "Where's the seal? Where's the seal?"
HORSE FEATHERS could easily be confused with the Marx's latter comedy, A DAY AT THE RACES (MGM, 1937), but as for this title, where's the horse? Well, the only horse available is one belonging to Harpo pulling his dog catcher's cart. Groucho does make a reference to horses when addressing his son, "I'd horse whip you if I had a horse." And for the football game finale, Harpo does a Ben-Hur one-horse chariot race taken from a street cleaner's garbage cart in order to score multiple touchdowns. "Anything farther further?" The Brothers Marx in traditional costume resume their usual significance as in most screen efforts: Groucho the cigar smoking wiseacre; Harpo the child-like silent one; Chico the Italian accented individual who misinterprets the English language; and Zeppo, usually the straight man, yet always overlooked because he IS the straight man. However, as Groucho's son, he does indicate some comedic potential. Due to long stretches in the script without Zeppo, it's quite evident that having the three Marx Brothers is enough. Even the wedding ceremony involving Thelma Todd, Zeppo (or Jennings) are nowhere in sight. Groucho, Harpo and Chico are present, leaving that unanswered question, "Which one does she marry or did she marry all three of them?" And does Frank ever graduate from Huxley College? We'll never know.
Once again it is Harpo who supplies much of the belly laughs. He comes up with a steamed cup of coffee from his coat pocket for a derelict; making a police dog out of a cop; winning all the money in a speakeasy ranging from everything including a slot machine, a man's money changer to a public telephone; and in the classroom, he takes turns with Chico in disrupting Groucho's biology lecture, "The blood rushes from the head to the feet, gets a look at those feet and rushes back to the head again. This is known as Auction Pinochle." Groucho also has his moments of glory, whether singing with a group of bearded college professors or sharing scenes with his brothers taking turns smooching with the college widow in her apartment. (One wonders if there's more to this scene considering how it ends abruptly with no sort of logical conclusion). "Hail to Freedonia!" Oops, wrong movie.
HORSE FEATHERS, which formerly aired on American Movie Classics from 1991-92, plays on Turner Classic Movies where it made its debut December 18, 2001. Interestingly, HORSE FEATHERS was last of the Marx/Paramount comedies of their five to be distributed on video cassette. However, it's currently part of the DVD package along with their other Paramount comedies. Be warned: College was never like this. The secret password is "Swordfish." (***)
