J. Lawrence Bradford: I'll ask you to return my check, please.

Carol King: Your check, huh that's on exhibition over there on the wall. I figured you'd stop payment on it.

J. Lawrence Bradford: I'll take the necessary steps...

Carol King: You'll do what? Listen, you made a sap out of yourself and you tried your best to make a sap out of me. Now I never want to see you again, understand? And as for your check, well, you don't think I hold myself as cheaply as all that do you?

J. Lawrence Bradford: Cheaply? Ten thousand dollars?

Carol King: Well that's your estimate of me, not mine. That check is framed, not cashed! I put it there to remind me never to get mixed up with your kind again!

J. Lawrence Bradford: Every time you say 'Cheap and Vulgar' I'm going to kiss you.

Carol King: Cheap and Vulgar!

[kiss]

Carol King: Cheap and Vulgar!

[kiss]

Carol King: Cheap and Vulgar!

[long kiss]

Faneul H. Peabody: [Fay squeals when Trixie kicks her under the table] What's the matter?

Trixie Lorraine: Oh nothing, Fay had an attack of chiseling, it's chronic with her.

Trixie Lorraine: [whispers to Fay] One more look at him with those bedroom-eyes and I'll break your leg!

[loudly, to all]

Trixie Lorraine: Excuse me for whispering; Fay and I have so much in common!

Trixie Lorraine: Isn't there going to be any comedy in the show?

Barney Hopkins: Oh, plenty! The gay side, the hard-boiled side, the cynical and funny side of the depression! I'll make 'em laugh at you starving to death, honey. It'll be the funniest thing you ever did.

Trixie Lorraine: "Fanny" is Faneul H. Peabody, just the kind of man I've been looking for, lots of money and no resistance.

Trixie Lorraine: Exuse me. Come here Fay, I have something I wan-ta show you.

Fay Fortune: what do you want?

Trixie Lorraine: Do you see that?

Fay Fortune: See what?

Trixie Lorraine: Can't you read? Where it says 'Exit'?

Fay Fortune: Exit?

Trixie Lorraine: You said it, sister. You start walking and you keep walking, and if you ever come near him again I'll break BOTH your legs, now scram!

Fay Fortune: I could easily resent that!

[as Fay walks away, Trixie kickes her in the bottom, making Fay squeal/shriek]

Faneul H. Peabody: Did Little Fay cry out?

Trixie Lorraine: No, that must have been the cornet you heard.

Barney Hopkins: Who are you?

The Kentucky Hillbillies: The Kentucky Hillbillies.

Barney Hopkins: Who?

The Kentucky Hillbillies: The Kentucky Hillbillies.

Kentucky Hillbilly #1: Singing!

Kentucky Hillbilly #2: Dancing!

Kentucky Hillbilly #3: Music!

Kentucky Hillbilly #4: Wisecracks!

Barney Hopkins: Do you know Your Old Kentucky Home?

The Kentucky Hillbillies: You said it!

Barney Hopkins: Scram right back there! Your old mammy is waiting for ya.

The Kentucky Hillbillies: We get it.

Trixie Lorraine: What's the show about?

Barney Hopkins: It's all about the Depression.

Carol King: We won't have to rehearse that.

Carol King: I'm going to throw them out.

Trixie Lorraine: After what he called you! A parasite. What is a parasite? You'd better resent it.

Trixie Lorraine: I'm going to take him like Grant took Waterloo.