Dr. Doremus: Ernest, it's clear that you don't know much about women. Now I'll tell you, women are, generally speaking...

Sergeant Ernest Heath: You certainly said it! They ARE generally speaking!

Greeff: [Watching two Siamese fighting fish] One thing about fish - if they dislike each other, they fight until they kill.

Tatum: Meaning what?

Sergeant Ernest Heath: [Annoyed that duty calls him away from his Turkish bath] A man can't even perspire in peace around here!

Ruby: You should be in the movies, Mr. Leland.

Leland: Why do you say that?

Ruby: You register jealousy so perfectly.

Markham: [to the guests] I'm afraid you'll all have to stay here until the pool is drained.

Tatum: [laughs derisively] How're you gonna drain the pool?

Sergeant Ernest Heath: [Sarcastically] I'm gonna suck it up with a straw!

Dr. Doremus: [to Markham, angered that there is no body] I can't perform an autopsy on a theory! I'm a coroner, not a philosopher!

Sergeant Ernest Heath: [Arriving at the crime scene] Well, where's the body?

Sergeant Ernest Heath: I'm afraid there ain't any, Doc.

Dr. Doremus: [Annoyed] You called me away from my breakfast for nothing?

Sergeant Ernest Heath: Well, at least you got a sniff at it. That's more than we've had.

Dr. Doremus: Well, where was the body when you phoned?

Sergeant Ernest Heath: We thought it was in the pool.

Dr. Doremus: [Annoyed] I don't want thoughts; I want bodies, and when there aren't any bodies, I want to be left alone!

Sergeant Ernest Heath: [Reacting to the obviously demented and looney Mrs. Stann] Boy, I'll bet she can tell a nifty bedtime story!

Dr. Doremus: [Leaving the scene, thoroughly annoyed that the body was not dead] Now I'm going to get some breakfast...

[turning for one last word]

Dr. Doremus: ... and, Heath, don't you call me out here again unless you've got a corpse. I'm here as a coroner, not as a doctor!

Sergeant Ernest Heath: [shouting after him sarcastically] Why don't you learn to carry a hard-boiled egg in your pocket?

Sergeant Ernest Heath: C'm'on now, how could that key get into your bed without you knowin' about it?

Sergeant Ernest Heath: Well, apparently you guys got into my room without my knowing about it!

Markham: [Vance has suggested draining the pond] What on earth does he expect to find down here in this muck?

Sergeant Ernest Heath: Probably the fingerprints of a clam.