Bert Keeler: Well of all the dumb guys...
Snoop: Don't worry about Corbett, she won't tip the gag, she said so.
Bert Keeler: Just the same I gotta find out who this Arlette dame is that Gordon's got signed up.
Snoop: Well whadda ya want me to do?
Bert Keeler: Go down to the ocean and pull a wave over your head!
Kitty Corbett: That's the eyes and ears of Broadway - with his nose in everybody's business.
Bert Keeler: It gives my column a homey feeling, a sort of a domestic touch.
Managing Editor: That's not Broadway. Now get this Keeler, I want the kind of stuff you get looking over transoms and peeking through keyholes.
Bert Keeler: Well, you can't always get stuff through keyholes. Sometimes the people aren't home.
Managing Editor: Then, you find out where they went and why.
Bert Keeler: Well, suppose I find them and they're doing nothing wrong?
Managing Editor: People are *always* doing something wrong - for a good reporter.
Radio Announcer: Bert Keeler, the voice of Broadway, giving you the inside dope on what's what among the who's who. Take it Bert.
Bert Keeler: Good evening, you little scandal lovers. This is Bert Keeler speaking, the Voice of Broadway, coming to you with all the late indoor sport results. And am I hot tonight!
Frances Langford: [singing] You've opened heaven's portal, Here on earth for this poor mortal, You are my lucky star...
Ted Burke: We usually eat breakfast at noon. It saves lunch. It's cheaper that way.
Bob Gordon: I'm going to Hollywood. I'm going to find a star for this show if I have to steal Garbo.
Bert Keeler: All right, Mademoiselle, relax.
Snoop: [in drag] Hey, when can I get out of this harness? My feet hurt.
Bert Keeler: You look about as effeminate as Wallace Beery. Now, look Snoop, all you have to do is sit here all day and answer the phone. Now, can you talk like a dame?
Snoop: I can try.
Bert Keeler: Let's hear it.
Snoop: Buy me a Rolls Royce, Daddy.
Bert Keeler: Well, you're thinking like one anyway. But, you got to get your voice higher. Higher! Way up! Look, Snoop, if there's any soprano in you, this is the time to bring it out. Now, try it again.
Snoop: Buy me - Buy me a Rolls Royce - I can't!
Bert Keeler: Then, we're stuck. Say, maybe you better be a man.
Snoop: What do you mean maybe?
Frances Langford: [singing] Nights that promise gay tomorrows...
Frances Langford: [singing] But up or down or sad or gay, There's something in this old Broadway, That makes you tingle in and out...
Bob Gordon: [singing] You are my lucky star, I saw you from afar, You are my Shearer, Crawford, Hepburn, Harlow, and my Garbo...
Frances Langford: [singing] Broadway rhythm it's got me, Everybody dance! Broadway rhythm it's got me, Everybody dance! Out on the gay white way