Prof. Richmond: Can you spell cat?

Curly: Soitenly!

Prof. Richmond: Spell it!

Curly: Cat. K-I-T-T-Y, pussy.

Moe: Now then gentlemen. Remember your etiquette.

[Slaps Larry and Curly]

Larry: What's that for?

Curly: We didn't do nothin'!

Moe: That's in case you do when I'm not around.

Moe: [reading] "See the deer. Has the deer any doe?"

Curly: Yeah, two bucks!

Moe: [the Stooges reluctantly agree to be gentlemen] You know it'll break the old man's heart but you gotta drop on us.

Larry: It'll disgrace us for life.

Curly: I won't be able to look at my children in the face.

Larry: Oh, see the cat. Does the mouse see that cat? Yeah, the dirty rat!

Nichols' daughter: Oh, your dancing is atrocious!

Larry: Oh, thank you. I couldn't dance a step last year.

Curly: Thanks for the dance.

[hands woman a razor]

Curly: And cut yourself a slice of throat.

Larry: Hey, where's your dignity?

Moe: Spread out.

Larry: Where's your dignity?

Moe: [Slaps Larry] There it is.

Moe: My dear fellows, this is our punishment for associating with the hoi polloi.

Prof. Richmond: Well, here's your check, Professor Nichols. You certainly won the wager.

Prof. Nichols: Well, that's very nice. Please forgive me, Mrs. Richmond, for annoying you with these rowdies.

Mrs. Rich: What do you mean, "rowdies?" Spread out!

[Slaps him on the face]

Prof. Richmond: Do you realize you men have assaulted us?

Prof. Nichols: I'll call the police!

Moe: Now, listen, mister. Listen, I can explain the whole thing.

Curly: Soitenly!

Moe: You stay out of this!

[Moe slaps Curly]

Moe: And you too.

[Moe slaps Larry]

Larry: I didn't say nothing!

Moe: Well, that was in case you do.

Prof. Richmond: Allow me to introduce Professor Nichols' two daughters.

Larry: Brother, can you spare a Nichol?