Oscar Piper: So that's your system?

Hildegarde Withers: Can you suggest a better one?

Oscar Piper: I suggest using your head a little.

Hildegarde Withers: That'd be nice work for you, Oscar, if you could get it.

Hildegarde Withers: Uuuhhh!

Hildegarde Withers: [Surprised by Oscar's sudden surprising appearance on Catalina by sneaking up behind her] Oscar Piper!

Oscar Piper: Little moments from the lives of great detectives - Hildegarde, ya get screwier every day.

Hildegarde Withers: Come all the way from New York just to be stupid in new surroundings?

Chief Of Police Britt: We've never had a murder here on the island. In fact, people don't even die here very often.

Hildegarde Withers: Maybe they die, and you don't know it.

Oscar Piper: Well, where's the corpse?

Hildegarde Withers: [Faking befuddlement] Now let me see - what did I do with that corpse? Oh, the police station! Come on, Oscar!

Oscar Piper: Just a minute, it'll keep until after lunch, won't it?

Hildegarde Withers: Well, I hope so.

Oscar Piper: I never look at a corpse on an empty stomach. Com'on.

Hildegarde Withers: Hmmmm.

Dr. O'Rourke: [to Hildegarde and Oscar] That body was here when I came in at one o'clock this morning. Someone must have stolen it.

Oscar Piper: [Sarcastically] I meant to tell yuh, Hildegarde. One of the first things to remember about handling a murder case is always keep in touch with your corpse.

Oscar Piper: Uhhhh! Will you please to mind your own business! I'll tackle this myself. This is a man's job.

[He walks away]

Hildegarde Withers: That's what I'm afraid of!

Hildegarde Withers: [to the dog Mr. Jones, who has helped Hildegarde find a clue] If there is any justice, you should have a kennel and a tree in the heart of Scotland Yard.

Oscar Piper: [Frustrated] I'm going to make one of these mugs talk if I have to work on 'em with a rubber hose!

Hildegarde Withers: [Sarcastically] A very original idea for a policeman!

Hildegarde Withers: [after the doctor, who has just come from the beach in an old-fashioned swimsuit, says it's a natural death] Are you quite capable of judging?

Dr. O'Rourke: Well, I ought to be - I am a doctor!

Hildegarde Withers: Well, I took you for a lifeguard.

Dr. O'Rourke: [With indignance] I gave him a very thorough examination.

Hildegarde Withers: [Sarcastically] I can imagine!

Dr. O'Rourke: I resent your attitude, madame!

Hildegarde Withers: [Remarking on his bizarre bathing suit] Don't try to be impressive in that drape, young man. You can't frighten me until you put on your trousers.

Hildegarde Withers: [She clears her throat] Mr. Britt, here is a list of all the persons on the plane... names, addresses, and occupations.

Chief Of Police Britt: Well, thanks for going to so much trouble.

Captain Beegle: [Sarcastically] Yeah, meddling is a pleasure for some people.