Dave: Gosh, all the fighting and worrying people do, it always seems to be about one thing. They don't seem to trust each other. Well, I've found this out. Don't look for trouble where there isn't any, because if you don't find it, you'll make it. Just believe in someone.
Helen 'Whitey' Wilson: You're a fool, for which I am grateful.
Mimi: My dear, men are like that. So honorable and able and wise in some things and just like naughty children in others. You wouldn't blame a little boy for stealing a piece of candy if left alone in a room with a whole boxful, would you?
Van: There's an old Chinese proverb that says if you want to keep a man honest, never call him a liar.
Van: I can't do any more, Whitey. I'm all fagged out.
Linda: The world's divided into two kinds of people: those who believe that bow tie ends should be sticking out, and those who don't. Personally, I'm very tolerant, ask anybody. But anyone who believes a bow tie end should stick out should be deported from this country.
Van: They're not going to get very far trying to sell a two dollar jar of cold cream in a five cent magazine.
Mimi: I haven't been one to give you much advice in the past, have I dear?
Linda: You've been an absolutely model mother-in-law, Mimi.
Mimi: All right, then I'm going to give you some now. Get rid of that secretary of Van's.
Linda: Miss Wilson? Van couldn't live without her.
Mimi: I hope not with her.
Mimi: You know, my dear, I've seen much more of the world than you have - and more of the Stanhope men. Van is very like his father. Warm-hearted. Impulsive. Active. And temptation ought not to be put in their way.
Linda: Mimi, darling, all Van's life is spent with attractive women. Not only Miss Wilson, but the girls who model dresses, the lovely actresses who's pictures he runs.
Van: You gals certainly stick together. You know, you'd rather see Whitey promoted than to see me comfortable.
Linda: It's really my own comfort I'm thinking of. Do you know that I sat next to a young lady tonight that didn't know I was Mrs. Stanhope and was convinced that Whitey was one of *those* secretaries.
Van: What? Did somebody say that?
Party Guest with Herbert: [looking laciviously at Whitey as she dances past him] Gentlemen, I fear that even I could give that little lady dictation.
[after Linda finds a bracelet hidden in her trout]
Van: Don't start asking me to go whale fishing.
Van: You know, it's amazing how a man can twist logic to suit his own ends.
Van: Me? I haven't done that in years. That's work!
Van: Say, that Ellen's a cute dish.
Van: Ladies and Gentlemen, I thank you for a very interesting and stimulating afternoon.
Helen 'Whitey' Wilson: Yes, V.S.
Helen 'Whitey' Wilson: No, V.S.
Helen 'Whitey' Wilson: Ah, show it to me now, Dave.
J.D. Underwood: Well, you're a clever young gamecock, Van, but I'm not so old a bird that I'm afraid to stay in the pit with you.
Van: [singing] Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag, And smile, smile, smile, While you've a lucifer to light your fag, Smile, boys, that's the style, Oh what's the use of worrying? It never was worth while...
Van: What'd you want?
Linda: Oh, nothing.
Van: Come on, now. What was it you wanted to tell me?
Linda: It's too late. I won't talk now.
Van: Well, probably wasn't anything important.
Linda: Well, you're not going to get it out of me that way.
Van: Well, what'd you want to tell me?
Linda: Oh, the mood's gone. It's all different now.
Van: Oh, it is, huh? The mood's gone? Eh? The mood's gone, eh? It is? Mmm-hmm.
[kisses Linda on the lips]
Van: You know, the first time you bid three spades tonight, I am definitely going to break that lovely little neck of yours.
[kisses Linda's neck]
Mrs. Anne Barker: Our butcher sends us the most inconsiderate chickens. We never have chicken livers like this!
Helen 'Whitey' Wilson: Oh, what fun. You know, next year I'd like to surprise them and do some figure skating.
Dave: Yeah, your figure was doing all right.
Helen 'Whitey' Wilson: What do you mean?
Dave: It went over pretty big with Stanhope, didn't it?
Helen 'Whitey' Wilson: Darling, you're kidding, aren't you?
Dave: I told you once that knowin' millionaires like him spoiled you.
Van: Whitey, you're a modern Mata Hari!
Van: Whitey, tonight we let loose.