Hotel Manager: This bed goes back to Henry the Eighth.

Curly Howard: That's nothing. We had a bed that went back to Sears Roebuck the Third.

Curly Howard: [a bathtub is behind a door that they open] Ohhhh, a rowboat.

Larry: A rowboat, you're crazy. That's a horse troph.

Moe: Rowboat, horse troph. In a hotel? That's a bathtub, you imbeciles. Go take a bath.

Larry: But we can't. It ain't spring yet.

Moe: Oh yes it is. See the pretty grass?

Larry: [looks toward the bathtub] Where?

Moe: [Moe shoves him in and closes the door. Curly giggles] You're next.

Curly Howard: But I had a bath.

Moe: When?

Curly Howard: July 14, 1910. I was too young to fight about it then.

Moe: What are you gonna do now?

Curly Howard: Take a bath.

Curly Howard: [Curly reads a telegram of their prize money and sees that taxes reduced their prise money into $4.95] Nyaaaaa...

[faints, Larry grabs it. Reads it]

Larry: They'll put us in jail!

[faints, Moe grabs it]

Hotel Costa Plente room service: Did he say jail?

Moe: No, Yale. He's got a brother in college with two heads. They got him in a bottle.

[Looks at the telegram for a second and flinches]

Hotel Costa Plente room service: Is something wrong?

Moe: Nothing. The figures stagger me.

Hotel Costa Plente room service: And so will your bill.

Curly Howard: [Thinks the canopy bed is a bunk bed, steps up Moe to get to the top. Feels it] I'll be able to sleep up here for a week, this bed is so soft. Give me a call for Wednesday.

[Lays on his back and then the bed collapses]

Moe: [Drinks a whole bottle of champagne. Followed by a faint rumbling noise] This bottle sounds flat.

Moe: Try another.

Curly Howard: [gets a bottle of champagne from the tray] I'll sharpen this one up.

[Shakes it, then opens it with foam squirting out. Curly puts it in his mouth and champagne sprays out of his ears. Then stops after a while]

Curly Howard: Boy, did I sharpen that bottle.

Moe: [picks up a glass] A toast.

Larry: [picks up a glass] A toast.

Curly Howard: [picks up air] A toast.

[Sees that there is no glass]

Curly Howard: Roses are red, violets are blue, there's no glass for me, so hot cakes to you. Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk.

[Moe and Larry throw pancakes onto his face]

Moe: If you want to cheat, cheat fair.

Curly Howard: Roses are red, and violets are blue, try Stick-Fast glue, and you'll be stuck to, oh boy I got it, if I make the best slogan I'll win a lot of money!

Moe: Oh your crazy, you've been sending those in for weeks, nobody ever wins those.

Larry: Yeah, why don't you play cards and prove your mind? What there is of it.

Curly Howard: See the money I get!

Moe: [putting a pancake on the center plate] There's that chip, I call. What do ya got?

Larry: [laying down his hand] Just four aces.

Moe: [slams his hand on the table] And me with four kings again.

Larry: [taking the pancakes] Well it must be beginner's luck.

Moe: I can't understand it, everyday you have beginner's luck.

Larry: [getting up to reach for the syrup] Well its just one of those things you know...

Moe: [grabs Larry by the hair and looks on his chair and sees a lot of aces] You want to cheat, cheat fair, anything I hate is a crookin' crook.

[Moe shakes Larry and more aces fall out of his coat]

Moe: [slaps Larry in the head and then sits down to eat the pancakes] My beginner's luck, huh, huh, huh.

Larry: [carrying a boiling kettle] I got it! Hot water always melts glue.

[Moe begins thrashing as Larry holds him and pours the water onto his mouth]

Moe: [angry] What do you think I am, a lobster? Tryin' to boil me alive?

Larry: [while being slapped in the head by Moe] Well, hot water always melts glue!

[first lines]

Larry: How many?

Moe: I'll take three.

Larry: I'll take the same.

Moe: I bet two.

[Moe puts two pancakes on the center plate]

Larry: I'll see those two, and I'll raise you five!

[Larry puts his entire stack on the center plate]

Moe: I'd better win today I haven't had breakfast in a week!

Larry: Well the best man always wins.

Moe: Well there's four... Hey I need some more chips!

[the camera moves over to Curly flipping a pancake in a frying pan]

Moe: Hurry it up with those chips!

[Curly comes over to the table]

Curly Howard: I'm getting sick and tired of making chips for you guys, I gotta get busy for my radio contest!