Doctor: Pardon me Mr.Katona? Precisely what position do you hold with Matuschek and Company?
Pepi Katona: Well, I would describe myself as a contact man. I keep contact between Matuschek and Company and the customers... on a bicycle.
Doctor: You mean, an errand boy?
Pepi Katona: Doctor, did I call you a pill-peddler?
Alfred Kralik: [asking Pirovitch about cost of living for married couple] Suppose a fellow gets an apartment with three rooms. Dining room, bedroom, living room.
Pirovitch: What do you need three rooms for? You live in the bedroom.
Alfred Kralik: Where do you eat?
Pirovitch: In the kitchen. You get a nice big kitchen.
Alfred Kralik: Where do you entertain?
Pirovitch: Entertain? What are you, an embassador? Who do you want to entertain? Listen listen, if someone is really your friend, he comes after dinner.
Alfred Kralik: There might be a lot we don't know about each other. You know, people seldom go to the trouble of scratching the surface of things to find the inner truth.
Klara Novak (Miss Novak): Well I really wouldn't care to scratch your surface, Mr. Kralik, because I know exactly what I'd find. Instead of a heart, a hand-bag. Instead of a soul, a suitcase. And instead of an intellect, a cigarette lighter... which doesn't work.
Pepi Katona: [leaving Mr.Matuschek's room in hospital] Well Doctor, I would say it's a nervous breakdown. What do you think?
Doctor: It appears to be an acute epileptoid manifestation and a pan phobic melancholiac with indication of a neurasthenia cordus.
Pepi Katona: Is that more expensive than a nervous breakdown?
Klara Novak (Miss Novak): All my knowledge came from books, and I'd just finished a novel about a glamorous French actress from the Comedie Francaise. That's the theater in France. When she wanted to arouse a man's interest, she treated him like a dog.
Alfred Kralik: Yes, well, you treated me like a dog.
Klara Novak (Miss Novak): Yes, but instead of licking my hand, you barked.
Alfred Kralik: Flora, take a letter. Ah... To whom it may concern. Mr. Vadas has been in the employ of Matuschek & Company for the last two years, during which he has been very efficient as a stool pigeon, a troublemaker, and a rat.
Ferenc Vadas: Now look here!
Alfred Kralik: And if he doesn't clear out of here he's going to get a punch in the nose! Yours very truly, Alfred Kralik, Manager, Matuschek & Company.
Alfred Kralik: Now if I were a girl and had to choose between a young good-for-nothing with plenty of hair and a good, solid, mature citizen, I'd pick Mathias Popkin every time.
[Alfred Kralik has just been called into his supervisor's office]
Alfred Kralik: Yes, Mr. Matuschek
Hugo Matuschek: Eh, close the door. Kralik, why did you put me in that situation, in front of the whole shop?
Alfred Kralik: Well, I'm very sorry, sir... but it was not my fault.
Hugo Matuschek: Well whose fault was it? Mine?
Alfred Kralik: Well... yes.
Klara Novak (Miss Novak): [In her letter to Alfred] : Oh, my Dear Friend, my heart was trembling as I walked into the post office, and there you were, lying in Box 237. I took you out of your envelope and read you, read you right there.
Pirovitch: [spying through the café window] There is a cup of coffee on the table. She's taking a piece of cake. Kralik, she's dunking!
Alfred Kralik: Can you see her?
Alfred Kralik: Is she pretty?
Pirovitch: Very pretty.
Alfred Kralik: She is, huh?
Pirovitch: I should say, she looks... she has a little of the coloring of Klara.
Alfred Kralik: Klara, Miss Novak of the shop?
Pirovitch: Now, Kralik, you must admit Klara is a very good looking girl, and personally I've always found her a very likable girl.
Alfred Kralik: Well this is a fine time to talk about Miss Novak.
Pirovitch: Well, if you don't like Miss Novak, I can tell you right now you won't like that girl.
Alfred Kralik: Why?
Pirovitch: Because it is Miss Novak.
Hugo Matuschek: It took me a whole hour to decide that I like this box.
Hugo Matuschek: Don't let me influence you. I want your opinion, your honest opinion.
Alfred Kralik: But I have troubles of my own without your blouse coming between Mr. Matuschek and me.