That Uncertain Feeling (1941)

Eve Arden: Sally Aikens

Quotes 

• Sally Aikens : I was doing some secretarial work for Mr. Baker.

  Mrs. Jill Baker : Oh, secretary's work on Saturday night?

  Sally Aikens : Oh, well, eh, I-I'm a notary public too.

  Mrs. Jill Baker : Oh, I see. And you brought your seal?

  Sally Aikens : Oh, yes!

  Mrs. Jill Baker : A-ha, a trained seal.

• Jones : Miss Aikens, we want a woman's point of view on a certain situation. Now, Mr. Baker has a friend and he's in trouble...

  Sally Aikens : Oh, Mr. Baker!

  Jones : [Shushing Larry]  Now, Mr. Baker has nothing whatever to do with it. Let's call the friend Mr. Brown. Now, Mr. Brown has a wife... Mr. & Mrs. Brown have been married for, uh, how long?

  Larry Baker : Well, say six years. They live in Toledo.

  Sally Aikens : Six years in Toledo. That's bad.

  Jones : All right then, let's say New York. Now Mr. Brown is worried about his marriage. Things are not going along as well as they used to.

  Sally Aikens : What kind of a man IS this Mr. Brown?

  Larry Baker : Very nice...

  Sally Aikens : Is he attractive?

  Jones : Very attractive.

  [to Larry] 

  Jones : Don't you think so?

  Larry Baker : Yes.

  Sally Aikens : And yet she's complaining.

  Larry Baker : Well, she's drifting away from him.

  Jones : Yes, and he wants to get things back on the old basis.

  Sally Aikens : Who doesn't?

  Jones : Yes.

  [clears throat] 

  Jones : Now, Miss Aikens, as a woman, I'm asking you, what is the right approach?

  Sally Aikens : Well, I should say a mink coat would do the trick.

  Larry Baker : She has a mink coat.

  Sally Aikens : Then what's she complaining about?

  [the men are exasperated, and Jones dismisses Miss Aikens from the conversation] 

  Larry Baker : Just a moment. Now look here. Mrs. Brown is interested in another man.

  Sally Aikens : Oh... If there aren't any witnesses she's going to deny it... But I'm afraid I'm not the right person to give you any advice. I probably have too much sympathy for Mr. Brown, and not enough patience with Mrs. Brown. We get cases like that every day. The wife is bored; marriage is just a habit. But on the other hand, she accepts everything her husband gives her. I think she ought to be kicked out. Do I sound old-fashioned?

  Jones : No, we'll let you know, Miss Aikens.

  Sally Aikens : Well anyway, I think Mr. Brown's a pretty swell guy. I've always thought so.

  [Miss Aikens leaves the room] 

  Jones : ...She certainly had a couple of interesting angles.

  Larry Baker : I didn't notice them.