That Uncertain Feeling (1941)
Melvyn Douglas: Larry Baker
Jones : Miss Aikens, we want a woman's point of view on a certain situation. Now, Mr. Baker has a friend and he's in trouble...
Sally Aikens : Oh, Mr. Baker!
Jones : [Shushing Larry] Now, Mr. Baker has nothing whatever to do with it. Let's call the friend Mr. Brown. Now, Mr. Brown has a wife... Mr. & Mrs. Brown have been married for, uh, how long?
Larry Baker : Well, say six years. They live in Toledo.
Sally Aikens : Six years in Toledo. That's bad.
Jones : All right then, let's say New York. Now Mr. Brown is worried about his marriage. Things are not going along as well as they used to.
Sally Aikens : What kind of a man IS this Mr. Brown?
Larry Baker : Very nice...
Sally Aikens : Is he attractive?
Jones : Very attractive.
Jones : Don't you think so?
Larry Baker : Yes.
Sally Aikens : And yet she's complaining.
Larry Baker : Well, she's drifting away from him.
Jones : Yes, and he wants to get things back on the old basis.
Sally Aikens : Who doesn't?
Jones : Yes.
Jones : Now, Miss Aikens, as a woman, I'm asking you, what is the right approach?
Sally Aikens : Well, I should say a mink coat would do the trick.
Larry Baker : She has a mink coat.
Sally Aikens : Then what's she complaining about?
[the men are exasperated, and Jones dismisses Miss Aikens from the conversation]
Larry Baker : Just a moment. Now look here. Mrs. Brown is interested in another man.
Sally Aikens : Oh... If there aren't any witnesses she's going to deny it... But I'm afraid I'm not the right person to give you any advice. I probably have too much sympathy for Mr. Brown, and not enough patience with Mrs. Brown. We get cases like that every day. The wife is bored; marriage is just a habit. But on the other hand, she accepts everything her husband gives her. I think she ought to be kicked out. Do I sound old-fashioned?
Jones : No, we'll let you know, Miss Aikens.
Sally Aikens : Well anyway, I think Mr. Brown's a pretty swell guy. I've always thought so.
[Miss Aikens leaves the room]
Jones : ...She certainly had a couple of interesting angles.
Larry Baker : I didn't notice them.
Mrs. Jill Baker : Just a habit, isn't it?
Larry Baker : Yes, if you want to call it that.
Mrs. Jill Baker : Like scratching your head or patting your dog. Would you do it to some other woman?
Larry Baker : Well, I don't know. I never tried.
Mrs. Jill Baker : But, you do it to me.
Larry Baker : Well, you're my wife.
Mrs. Jill Baker : And that gives you the right to poke me in the stomach whenever you want, heh?
Larry Baker : If you ever should run into one of her bad moods and you want to snap her right out if it, there's only one way to do it.
Alexander Sebastian : What's that?
Larry Baker : Just - keeks her.
Alexander Sebastian : Keeks her? How do you do that?
Larry Baker : Just
[pokes Sebastian in the stomach]
Larry Baker : - keeks!
Larry Baker : Now, the tough man to crack is Kafka - of Universal Mattress. I've done a little detective work: he's a Hungarian. As a matter of fact, they're all Hungarians. So, so let's give the dinner a kind of - Hungarian touch, heh?
Mrs. Jill Baker : Now look, Larry...
Larry Baker : Oh, now listen, darling, I didn't expect you to behave like a gypsy. But, let's hire a Hungarian cook and make him a wonderful goulash!
Larry Baker : Success in business is fifty per cent hard work and fifty per cent the right cigar.
Larry Baker : These Hungarians are certainly funny people.
Larry Baker : You should know better, musicians and mattresses don't mix!
Larry Baker : Ho-ho-ho. Am I going to be difficult! I'm gonna be the mad dog of 685 Park Avenue. Heil Baker!
[Makes a Nazi salute]
Larry Baker : How is everything going?
The Butler : Oh, not so well sir. I came to ask if in your future plans you'd have any use for me?
Larry Baker : Have you left Miss Baker?
The Butler : Yes sir, I had to - on account of that - musical gentleman. In fact, we all left, except Emma. But, then she fortunately is quite deaf.
Larry Baker : A little bit softer, please.