Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)

Peter Lorre: Dr. Einstein

Photos 

Quotes 

• [discussing the body count] 

  Dr. Einstein : You got twelve, they got twelve.

  [angrily grabs Dr. Einstein's necktie] 

  Jonathan Brewster : I've got thirteen!

  Dr. Einstein : No, Johnny, twelve - don't brag.

  Jonathan Brewster : Thirteen! There's Mr. Spinalzo and the first one in London, two in Johannesburg, one in Sydney, one in Melbourne, two in San Francisco, one in Phoenix, Arizona...

  Dr. Einstein : Phoenix?

  Jonathan Brewster : The filling station...

  Dr. Einstein : Filling station? Oh!

  [slits throat] 

  Dr. Einstein : Yes.

  Jonathan Brewster : Then three in Chicago and one in South Bend. That makes thirteen.

  Dr. Einstein : You cannot count the one in South Bend. He died of pneumonia!

  Jonathan Brewster : He wouldn't have died of pneumonia if I hadn't shot him!

  Dr. Einstein : No, no, Johnny. You cannot count him. You got twelve, they got twelve. The old ladies is just as good as you are!

• Dr. Einstein : You shouldn't have killed him. Just because he know something about us, what happens?

  Jonathan Brewster : We come to him for help, and he tries to shake us down. Besides, he said I looked like Boris Karloff!

• Teddy Brewster : [showing Einstein a photo]  This is the picture I was telling you about, General. Here we are, both of us. President Roosevelt and General Goethals. That's me, General, and that's you.

  Dr. Einstein : My how I've changed.

• Dr. Einstein : Where am I? Oh, here I am.

• Jonathan Brewster : [pulling on surgical gloves]  And now doctor... we go to work!

  Dr. Einstein : No, Johnny. I cannot operate without a drink!

  Jonathan Brewster : Pull yourself together, doctor!

  Dr. Einstein : I cannot pull myself together without a drink!

• Jonathan Brewster : Tonight, we are taking care of Mortimer.

  Dr. Einstein : But, Johnny, not tonight. I'm sleepy. We'll do it tomorrow, or the next day.

  Jonathan Brewster : Look at me, Doctor. You can see that it's got to be done, can't you?

  Dr. Einstein : Yeah, I know that look.

  Jonathan Brewster : It's a little late to dissolve our partnership.

  Dr. Einstein : Okay, okay, Johnny. Okay, we'll do it. But the quick way, huh? The quick twist like in London.

  Jonathan Brewster : No, Doctor. I think this calls for something special. I think, perhaps, the Melbourne method.

  Dr. Einstein : [cringing]  No! Not the Melbourne method, please! Two hours!

• Dr. Einstein : At least people in plays act like they've got sense.

  Mortimer Brewster : Oh, you think so? Did you ever see anybody in a play act like they got any intelligence?

  Dr. Einstein : [agonizing]  How can somebody be so stupid!

• [after listening to Mortimer's description of a character in a play] 

  Dr. Einstein : You know, you were right about that fellow. He wasn't very bright.

• Martha Brewster : Are you leaving, Doctor?

  Dr. Einstein : Yes, please.

• Dr. Einstein : Alright, Mr. President, we go to Panama.

  Teddy Brewster : Bully, bully! Follow me, General. It's down south, you know.

  Dr. Einstein : [hat falling across his eyes]  Well, Bon voyage!

• Dr. Einstein : [to Mortimer]  Look, when Johnny's in that mood, he's a madman! He's a maniac! And then things happen. Horrible things...

  [draws finger across throat] 

• Dr. Einstein : [to Jonathon]  We got a hot stiff on our hands!