Tommy Chan: You're lucky to have your assistant on hand, Pop.

Charlie Chan: Assistant? That you?

Tommy Chan: Sure!

Charlie Chan: Your assistance about as welcome as water in a leaking ship!

Tommy Chan: But you've always said that two men can find a clue quicker than one.

Charlie Chan: [looking from side to side] Where is other man? Do not see other man!

Charlie Chan: [to Tommy] Next time you try this, you experience sudden collision in rear end of pants.

Tommy Chan: Pop, I've got a case that will knock your hat off!

Charlie Chan: Can remove hat without assistance, thank you.

Charlie Chan: You talk like rooster, who thinks sun come up just to hear him crow.

Tommy Chan: My gosh, Pop, are you a mind reader?

Charlie Chan: If mind not too small.

Charlie Chan: You should get married and raise large family. Once you have large family, all other troubles mean nothing.

Charlie Chan: Not glad to see me, Birmingham?

Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver: Oh, it's nothing personal, Mr. Chan, but the last time we met was in Washington, and if I can remember right, there was two or three murders.

Charlie Chan: Murder is my business.

Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver: Murder's all right, Mr. Chan, but you wholesales it!

Tommy Chan: And besides, didn't I get you a swell case?

Charlie Chan: Every time you appear, I have swell case of assorted troubles.

Tommy Chan: I don't get it, Pop!

Charlie Chan: [laconically] Fear you are weak limb to which no family tree may point with pride.

Charlie Chan: You are smart enough to keep eyes open?

Tommy Chan: You bet!

Charlie Chan: Do likewise - keep mouth shut!

Charlie Chan: [to Tommy] You put two and two together and get result bigger than national debt.

Charlie Chan: [to Tommy as he looks over Charlie's shoulder] Please remove breath from back of my neck! Go away! Go away!

Charlie Chan: [to a semi-conscious Tommy] How you feeling?

Tommy Chan: My head seems to be spinning.

Charlie Chan: Oh. Then you're all right. Everything back to normal.

Charlie Chan: Never start anything unless I see end of road.

Dr. Paul Recknik: How are you coming along to date?

Charlie Chan: Did not say which end of road I could see.

Charlie Chan: [looking at funhouse figures] See one with no head?

Tommy Chan: Un-huh.

Charlie Chan: He remind me of you.

Tommy Chan: [entering room where Charlie is being held by thugs] Hi ya, Pa! What're you doing in there?

Charlie Chan: [laconically] Like puppy who come to smell subway third rail, you will receive complete information in few moments.

Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver: [after knocking bad guy unconscious by breaking flashlight over his head] Uh-oh! Mr. Chan, I ruined your flashlight!

Charlie Chan: [looking at bad guy on the floor] Even trade... his light out, too!

Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver: Free speech is gon' get me in trouble yet.

Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver: How come you walkin' around? Don't you know you dead?

Charlie Chan: Bull in china shop is gentle creature compared to detective who make pass at man wearing glasses.

Charlie Chan: Three murders. All different. Dog cannot chase three rabbits at same time. Manning Case like modern highway. Sooner or later come to detour.

Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver: Thank you for lettin' me share your private graveyard.

Catlen: Hold it, you! Stop that moving!

Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver: I ain't movin', mister. That's just goose pimples galloping all over me.

Charlie Chan: You are like turtle. After everything all over, you stick head out and find truth right under your very nose.

Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver: Uh-oh. My pin-up boy again.