[discussing Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd]

Professor Merlin: Now, Elmer, sit up here. They're both good boys...

Professor Merlin's Dummy: Good for what?

Professor Merlin: Well, they're just naturally good boys. If I had a dummy like Charlie, I'd get somewhere...

Professor Merlin's Dummy: Yeah, and if I had a ventriloquist like Bergen, *I'd* get somewhere.

Tex Coulter: Vera, what are you gonna do tonight?

Vera Vague: Nothing, you dear boy. I'll meet you right after the show.

Tex Coulter: [laughing] No, no, you don't get me. I mean, uh, what's your specialty?

Vera Vague: Men - eighteen to forty-five, and no dependents.

Tex Coulter: What I'm tryin' to ask is, are you gonna sing, or dance, or can you tell a joke?

Vera Vague: Certainly. I recognized you the moment you came out!

Professor Merlin's Dummy: Did you know I'm kin to Charlie McCarthy?

Professor Merlin: Charlie McCarthy?

Professor Merlin's Dummy: Yeah.

Professor Merlin: What kin?

Professor Merlin's Dummy: Stepbrother.

Professor Merlin: Oh, stepbrother...?

Professor Merlin's Dummy: Yeah... both made out of the same doorstep.