Lost in a Harem (1944)

Lou Costello: Harvey Garvey

Quotes 

• Harvey Garvey : Have you a reservation here?

  Jailer and clerk : No.

  Harvey Garvey : Then I have to take my business someplace else.

  [he starts to leave but is restrained by guards] 

  Harvey Garvey : I changed my mind. I'll take the room.

  Jailer and clerk : What's your name?

  Harvey Garvey : Harvey D. Garvey.

  Jailer and clerk : Where born?

  Harvey Garvey : Under a sink.

  Jailer and clerk : How do you know?

  Harvey Garvey : I heard the water runnin'.

• Peter Johnson : We've got to outsmart Uncle Nimativ. You go in and outwit him.

  Harvey Garvey : Why should I go out with him? I'm afraid of that man!

  Peter Johnson : Not to go out with him. Go in and outwit him.

  Harvey Garvey : Why should I go in and go out wth him? I mean, he don't appeal to me!

• Peter Johnson : You love her?

  [laughs derisively] 

  Peter Johnson : Oh, come on, you wouldn't get to first base with a beautiful girl like that.

  Harvey Garvey : Yes, I would.

  Peter Johnson : Did you ever take a good look in the mirror?

  Harvey Garvey : No.

  Peter Johnson : Why not?

  Harvey Garvey : Why should I hurt my own feelings?

  Peter Johnson : Never mind!

• Harvey Garvey : Do I have to especially go now?

  Peter Johnson : You just split an infinitive!

  Harvey Garvey : Well, I mean that...

  [feeling his own rear end] 

  Harvey Garvey : Does it show?

• The Derelict : Quiet! People will think you're crazy.

  Harvey Garvey : Oh, and I suppose you're all right?

  The Derelict : Of course!

  Harvey Garvey : Of course?

  The Derelict : I have a brother who is crazy -

  [screaming] 

  The Derelict : but I'm all right!

  Harvey Garvey : [gasping]  Who told you?

  The Derelict : My brother!

  Harvey Garvey : That does it, brother!

• The Derelict : Gentleman... He called me a gentleman!

  The Derelict : [to Pete]  Thank you.

  Peter Johnson : That's all right.

  The Derelict : Those are the first kind words I've heard in years. You see I haven't always been a derelict...

  [pointing to Harvey] 

  The Derelict : like you!

  Harvey Garvey : Hey, now, don't call me those kind of bad names.

  The Derelict : Would you like to hear my story?

  Harvey Garvey : No.

  The Derelict : Very well, then I'll tell it to you.

• The Derelict : I know a secret passage that will take us out.

  Harvey Garvey : Swell!

  The Derelict : [to Harvey]  Shhh!

  Harvey Garvey : [to Pete]  Shhh!

  Peter Johnson : [whispering]  Go ahead.

  The Derelict : Follow me.

  Peter Johnson : Go ahead - follow him.

  Harvey Garvey : Okay.

  Peter Johnson : [impatiently]  Go ahead.

  The Derelict : Where are you taking me?