Lost in a Harem (1944)
Lou Costello: Harvey Garvey
Quotes
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Harvey Garvey : Have you a reservation here?
Jailer and clerk : No.
Harvey Garvey : Then I have to take my business someplace else.
[he starts to leave but is restrained by guards]
Harvey Garvey : I changed my mind. I'll take the room.
Jailer and clerk : What's your name?
Harvey Garvey : Harvey D. Garvey.
Jailer and clerk : Where born?
Harvey Garvey : Under a sink.
Jailer and clerk : How do you know?
Harvey Garvey : I heard the water runnin'.
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Peter Johnson : We've got to outsmart Uncle Nimativ. You go in and outwit him.
Harvey Garvey : Why should I go out with him? I'm afraid of that man!
Peter Johnson : Not to go out with him. Go in and outwit him.
Harvey Garvey : Why should I go in and go out wth him? I mean, he don't appeal to me!
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Peter Johnson : You love her?
[laughs derisively]
Peter Johnson : Oh, come on, you wouldn't get to first base with a beautiful girl like that.
Harvey Garvey : Yes, I would.
Peter Johnson : Did you ever take a good look in the mirror?
Harvey Garvey : No.
Peter Johnson : Why not?
Harvey Garvey : Why should I hurt my own feelings?
Peter Johnson : Never mind!
-
Harvey Garvey : Do I have to especially go now?
Peter Johnson : You just split an infinitive!
Harvey Garvey : Well, I mean that...
[feeling his own rear end]
Harvey Garvey : Does it show?
-
The Derelict : Quiet! People will think you're crazy.
Harvey Garvey : Oh, and I suppose you're all right?
The Derelict : Of course!
Harvey Garvey : Of course?
The Derelict : I have a brother who is crazy -
[screaming]
The Derelict : but I'm all right!
Harvey Garvey : [gasping] Who told you?
The Derelict : My brother!
Harvey Garvey : That does it, brother!
-
The Derelict : Gentleman... He called me a gentleman!
The Derelict : [to Pete] Thank you.
Peter Johnson : That's all right.
The Derelict : Those are the first kind words I've heard in years. You see I haven't always been a derelict...
[pointing to Harvey]
The Derelict : like you!
Harvey Garvey : Hey, now, don't call me those kind of bad names.
The Derelict : Would you like to hear my story?
Harvey Garvey : No.
The Derelict : Very well, then I'll tell it to you.
-
The Derelict : I know a secret passage that will take us out.
Harvey Garvey : Swell!
The Derelict : [to Harvey] Shhh!
Harvey Garvey : [to Pete] Shhh!
Peter Johnson : [whispering] Go ahead.
The Derelict : Follow me.
Peter Johnson : Go ahead - follow him.
Harvey Garvey : Okay.
Peter Johnson : [impatiently] Go ahead.
The Derelict : Where are you taking me?