Lou Costello: Abercrombie
Photos
Quotes
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Buzz Kurtis : Every time you open your mouth, what happens?
Abercrombie : I eat.
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Abercrombie : I gotta break the date.
Ruthie : What date?
Abercrombie : Don't you remember? June 22nd?
Ruthie : June 22nd? I don't remember anything about a date.
Abercrombie : Oh, yes. Don't you remember? I said I was gonna take you to the Palladium a long time ago, and you said, 'See me next year.' Well, tonight the year is up.
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Abercrombie : [starting to shave Rags] Now, I got the razor and the smelling salts.
Rags Ragland : The what?
Abercrombie : The smellin' salts.
Rags Ragland : What's that for?
Abercrombie : I faint when I see the sight of blood.
Rags Ragland : Oh...
Rags Ragland : [after a delayed reaction] Blood! Look, if you cut me, there's gonna be plenty of blood, and it's all gonna be yours!
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Gregory LeMaise : [In disguise with a beard] Did you ever hear the one about the guy who was so brave he stuck his right arm into a lion's mouth, right up to there.
[he motions to his shoulder]
Abercrombie : [also in disguise] He stuck his right arm in a lion's mouth up to there?
[also motioning to his shoulder]
Gregory LeMaise : Yeah!
Abercrombie : His right arm?
Gregory LeMaise : Yeah!
Abercrombie : What's his name?
Gregory LeMaise : Lefty!
[he breaks into raucous laughter]
Abercrombie : [he spills his drink into Ambercrombie's turban which is on his lap] You get it?
Abercrombie : [both are laughing] I didn't get it that time.
Gregory LeMaise : You didn't?
Abercrombie : No, no.
Gregory LeMaise : Lefty!
[he laughs even louder as Ambercrombie absentmindedly puts his turban on, drenching himself with the drink]
Gregory LeMaise : [Ambercrombie stops laughing] You know, you're a great fellow. You made me forget my troubles.
Abercrombie : You've drowned mine!
Gregory LeMaise : [laughs] You've got troubles too?
Abercrombie : Yes, sir.
Gregory LeMaise : [laughing] No, but I've got real troubles. I killed a man!
Abercrombie : [reacting to the camera] A man killed me. That's why I'm wearing this fake beard.
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Abercrombie : A face like mine is hard to forget.
Buzz Kurtis : How do you know?
Abercrombie : I've been tryin' for years!
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Buzz Kurtis : You can't sleep?
Abercrombie : No.
Buzz Kurtis : I've got just the thing for you. Don't go away.
[He leaves the room]
Buzz Kurtis : [returning with a phonograph record] Well, pal, here it is.
Abercrombie : What do you got there?
Buzz Kurtis : [reading the label] 'Go To Sleep with Dr. Caswell Snide.'
Abercrombie : Oh, no! I wanna sleep alone!
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Buzz Kurtis : Now, listen. This is even better than you getting socked. You're dead!
Abercrombie : If I'm dead, then... then why am I so hungry?
