Kiss and Tell (1945)

Katharine Alexander: Janet Archer

Quotes 

• Raymomd Pringle : Why are you driving me home? I wasn't selling kisses. I think it's all very dumb.

  Corliss Archer : Oh, Mother, I don't see why you're making such a fuss about it. After all, it was only -

  Janet Archer : Be quiet, Corliss.

  Mildred Pringle : I'm sorry you're upset, Mother, but I don't see any harm in what we did.

  Janet Archer : Perhaps not, but you're nearly eighteen and Corliss isn't even sixteen yet. Besides, Corliss has been brought up quite differently.

  Dorothy Pringle : I resent that remark.

• Janet Archer : [to Corliss]  I don't see how you could let Mildred persuade you to do such a thing?

  Dorothy Pringle : Now just a moment, Janet. As I understand it, the whole idea originated with Corliss.

  Corliss Archer : As a matter of fact, it was Dexter who started it all.

  Dexter Franklin : Me?

  [hits his head on the top of the car] 

  Dexter Franklin : Ow. Holy cow, you must be crazy!

  Raymomd Pringle : I think it's all very dumb. What does it matter whose idea it was?

  Dorothy Pringle : You be quiet. It matters a great deal.

  Raymomd Pringle : No kidding, Mrs. Archer, selling kisses is recognized as a perfectly legitimate -

  Janet Archer : I don't want to discuss it, Raymond.

  Corliss Archer : Mother, if you'd only listen.

  Mildred Pringle : It was for a very noble cause.

  Raymomd Pringle : I think it's all very dumb.

  Janet Archer : When we get home, Dorothy, if you'd care to come in where we can thresh this out properly -

  Dorothy Pringle : No, thank you, Janet. I have no desire to intrude where my daughter is considered a contaminating influence.

  Mildred Pringle : Mother, please!

  Janet Archer : Why, Dorothy, I never said -

  Dorothy Pringle : Oh, yes, you did. Those were your very words, Janet. And I, for one, am not likely to forget them.

  Raymomd Pringle : Let's turn on the radio, this conversation's getting nowhere fast.

• Dorothy Pringle : Well, I've just learned something, Janet, that I feel it's my duty to tell you. And you were the people who felt that my daughter was a bad influence on yours.

  Harry Archer : If you've come over here...

  Janet Archer : Now, please. Let's try not to forget we're gentlepeople.

  Dorothy Pringle : Too bad you didn't think of that when he knocked four of Bob's teeth down his throat.

  Janet Archer : All right, Dorothy. Now, what is it?

  Dorothy Pringle : I thought you might be interested to know that your daughter, who might be contaminated by associating with Mildred, is in serious trouble with a soldier.

  Harry Archer : Get out of my house!

  Janet Archer : Harry!

  Harry Archer : Get her out of here before I lose my temper and smash her bridge work.

  Dorothy Pringle : I don't blame you for being upset. I was shocked myself.

  Harry Archer : Just what do you mean?

  Dorothy Pringle : I mean just what I say, she's in trouble.

  Janet Archer : How dare you?

  Harry Archer : And I say you're a liar!

  Dorothy Pringle : Then suppose you ask Corliss why she's been visiting Dr. Fabling in the Professional Building.

  Harry Archer : Corliss!

  Dorothy Pringle : Just in case you don't know already, Dr. Fabling only takes obstetrical cases.

• Corliss Archer : [being called downstairs after Dorothy Pringle accused her of being pregnant]  Yes, Daddy, I heard what she said. I wasn't actually listening. I couldn't help hearing.

  Harry Archer : Then tell her that she's a liar. Go ahead. You have my permission to use the word.

  Corliss Archer : [reluctantly]  Well, I...

  Dorothy Pringle : If ever I saw guilt written on a human face, that's it.

  Janet Archer : Sit down, Corliss.

  Dorothy Pringle : If you want to lead up to it gently, ask her if she was at the corner of Jefferson and Fifth yesterday with her soldier friend having a cocktail.

  Corliss Archer : It was a shrimp cocktail. I'll murder that Betty Campbell!

  Harry Archer : What soldier?

  Janet Archer : I know all about that, Harry, it was Private Earhart.

  Corliss Archer : Corporal Earhart.

  Janet Archer : Be quiet, Corliss.

  Harry Archer : What's this about Dr. Fabling in the Professional Building?

  Corliss Archer : I...

  Dorothy Pringle : Now, there's no use trying to deny it. You were seen leaving his office yesterday and the week before by two different people. And yesterday you were seen meeting this soldier.

  Janet Archer : Corliss. Corliss, look at me. Is that true?

  Corliss Archer : Yes, Mother.

  Janet Archer : Oh, darling.

  Dorothy Pringle : I'm sorry, Janet. But perhaps in the future you'll be a little bit more careful when you talk about people leading people astray.

• Dexter Franklin : [entering after Corliss says that Dexter is the father of her baby]  Hi, everybody.

  Harry Archer : Get out of my sight, you vile, unspeakable, shameless, filthy little swine!

  Dexter Franklin : [thinking he's referring to the previous day when he slapped Corliss on the arm]  Gee whiz, I'm sorry. It'll never happen again.

  Janet Archer : Harry, please, I implore you, control yourself. Murdering him isn't going to do any good.

  Dexter Franklin : Holy cow. It was Corliss' fault as much as it was mine.

  Harry Archer : You filthy little cad!

  Corliss Archer : Oh, Dexter! Dexter, you don't know what you're saying!

  Dexter Franklin : [to Corliss]  Holy cow, I asked you not to tell him. But--but Mr. Archer, it was all in fun.

  Corliss Archer : Oh, Daddy, please. Please, don't kill him!

• Corliss Archer : [Mrs. Archer thinks Corliss is pregnant]  Mother, do you think I'm awful?

  Janet Archer : I've already told you what I think, and it hasn't made the slightest impression. You don't seem to realize what a dreadful thing this is. Oh, I don't understand you, Corliss.

  Corliss Archer : Mother, do you hate me? Please, don't hate me.

  Janet Archer : Hate you? Oh, darling! Darling, of course I don't hate you.

  Corliss Archer : You know, I think Daddy'd like to break my neck.

  Janet Archer : Only because he loves you so, you little idiot.

  Corliss Archer : Mom, please don't feel so awful. Oh, Mom, please don't cry. Oh, if only I could explain...

  Janet Archer : I'm so ashamed, Corliss. I feel it's all my fault.

  Corliss Archer : Oh, Mom, no, no!

  Janet Archer : To think, how we used to dream about the day you'd get married.

  Corliss Archer : But, Mother, we are married.

  Janet Archer : What?

  Corliss Archer : Well, naturally, Mom. I mean, golly. Well, surely you didn't think that--well, naturally we're married.

  Janet Archer : But Corliss...

  Corliss Archer : Mom, how could you possibly think we weren't married?

  Janet Archer : Then why didn't you say so?

  Corliss Archer : Well, I haven't had a chance. Daddy's been yelling ever since, and I was sent to my room.

• Janet Archer : Just think, our little girl married to Dexter.

  Harry Archer : Just so long as it takes to get it annulled!

  Janet Archer : Harry, you can't.

  Harry Archer : Why not?

  Janet Archer : Because they're going to have a baby. I hope it'll be a girl.

  Harry Archer : Janet, you amaze me. How can you stand there calmly and hope it's going to be a girl?

  Janet Archer : Well, it's got to be either a boy or a girl. I can have my preference, can't I?

• Uncle George : Corliss, I have a bone to pick with you. How dare you get married without letting me perform the ceremony?

  Corliss Archer : But Uncle George -

  Uncle George : It isn't everybody that has a chaplain right in the family, you know.

  Corliss Archer : Yes, Uncle George -

  Uncle George : Ever since you were that high it's been understood that it was to be my privilege.

  Corliss Archer : Yes, Uncle George, but -

  Uncle George : It's all right. Don't worry. We've been discussing it all, and we're going to give you children a real home wedding right now.

  Dexter Franklin : Holy cow.

  Janet Archer : That's right, Corliss.

  Mary Franklin : Won't that be lovely?

  Corliss Archer : But Uncle George, that's awfully sweet of you, and everything, but - but we don't need to get married anymore.

  Uncle George : Now look, eloping to a justice of the peace is all very modern, but there's nothing like an old-fashioned wedding ceremony if you want the marriage to last. Isn't that true, Janet?

  Janet Archer : I think Uncle George is perfectly right. Now run along upstairs, dear, and put on your new dress.

  Corliss Archer : Mom, I don't want to .

  Janet Archer : Why, Corliss!

  Dexter Franklin : Sure, Corliss, go on. I think it's a swell idea.

  Corliss Archer : Dexter Franklin, you keep out of this!

  Dexter Franklin : [to Uncle George]  Yes, sir. I wouldn't feel properly married to Corliss unless you did it.