Week-End at the Waldorf (1945)

Ginger Rogers: Irene Malvern

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Quotes 

• Irene Malvern : I feel so stimulated.

• Irene Malvern : You're not very clever, now.

  Chip Collyer : No. I-I, I have my off moments and this is one.

• Chip Collyer : The fact is, for ten years, I've been looking for you and not even knowing it. And when I saw you, well I, had to stay.

  Irene Malvern : I think you better go - and get your hotcakes.

• Irene Malvern : He's not a tramp. He's wonderful. He's handsome. He's wise, strong, steady. He's witty. He's charming. He's...

  Henry Burton : Say, who is this guy?

  Irene Malvern : He's as real as everything else in my life. He just doesn't exist.

• Irene Malvern : You really should examine him, Bobby. You'll probably find he's made of celluloid - just like me.

• Irene Malvern : Let me assure you that there's a detective standing outside that door.

  Chip Collyer : Perry Mason, Peter Wimsey or Sherlock Holmes?

• Irene Malvern : So, you're a sensation seeker. Is that it?

  Chip Collyer : That's it! If I weren't a jewel thief, would I be sitting here with one of the loveliest woman in America? Watching her green-flecked eyes change from fear to scorn to anger to pity. Oh, yes, I saw some pity in those eyes. And, while we're on the subject, if you don't mind my saying so, that's the nicest hank of hair I've seen in many a lonesome month. And, the nose. It isn't bad, either. But, you know what gets me? The voice. There's music in it.

• Chip Collyer : You're a pretty lonely soul, aren't you?

  Irene Malvern : What makes you say that?

  Chip Collyer : And frightened too.

  Irene Malvern : Of you?

  Chip Collyer : Oh, no, not of me - of life.

  Irene Malvern : I'm not afraid of anything or anybody.

  Chip Collyer : I am. Most people with any sense are at one time or another.

• Chip Collyer : What is it you're after anyway? You've got looks, success, a dizzy amount of it, from what I can make out. A hundred million women would trample each other to pieces to change places with you. And, yet, coming back to your eyes, which incidentally fascinate me, there's something missing?

  Irene Malvern : I'm very happy. What's more, we're not here to discuss me.

  Chip Collyer : Oh, sorry.

  Irene Malvern : I realize that's a subtle form of flattery, but, I assure you, I'm on to it.

  Chip Collyer : Can't get around you, can I, huh?

  Irene Malvern : Not very easily.

• Irene Malvern : What are you going to tell them, uh, the Syndicate, if I should let you go?

  Chip Collyer : That I couldn't pull the job. Met my intended uh, victim. She was beautiful, she was warm, she was gentle and sincere. I still had a little spark of decency left, so, I returned the necklace.

  Irene Malvern : What necklace?

  Chip Collyer : The uh, the Grand Duke's.

  Irene Malvern : "Grand Hotel"! Why that's straight out of the picture, "Grand Hotel!"

  Chip Collyer : That's right! I am the Baron, you are the ballerina, and we're off to see the wizard.

• Irene Malvern : I'm really not angry about last night.

  Chip Collyer : No?

  Irene Malvern : In a way, I suppose, I'm to blame.

• Henry Burton : Look, honey, now that we've got a hit, don't you think we ought to have a little celebration? Come on over to "21". The whole gangs there.

  Irene Malvern : No.

  Sam Skelly : Oh, come on!

  Irene Malvern : You two go ahead. I'm tired. I'm going to take the war paint off and go to bed.

  Henry Burton : Well, maybe you're right. Good night, Irene.

• Irene Malvern : I'd really like to know what goes on in that mighty brain of yours.

  Chip Collyer : Ah, sweet mystery of life.

  Irene Malvern : What would lead a man to take a lady's key, tell the clerk that he's her husband and, then, plop himself down in her living room? I'm just curious.

• Chip Collyer : Think, woman. Think. I'm in the market for a wife. I told you that. You won't have me. You ought to know a good second choice. Someone, eh, oh, not as attractive as you are, but, fairly attractive; not as warm hearted, but, fairly warm hearted; not as, not as exciting, but, fairly exciting. Think.

  Irene Malvern : Well, I don't know many women, except actresses.

  Chip Collyer : Nice thing about picture actresses, though, you can look them over on the screen before you meet 'em. Who did you have in mind?

  Irene Malvern : Well, I have one or two stand-ins.

  Chip Collyer : No. No substitutes won't do. It's, eh, it's you or nobody. I can't have you so, well, it was just a crazy notion anyhow. Sort of a weekend mirage.

• Chip Collyer : Imagine two people like us - getting together. Ridiculous, isn't it.

  Irene Malvern : Ridiculous.

  Chip Collyer : Oil and water don't mix.

  Irene Malvern : Oil and - water don't mix.

  Chip Collyer : The law of Physics.

  Irene Malvern : The law of Physics.

  Chip Collyer : Common sense.

  Irene Malvern : Common sense.

  Chip Collyer : East is East.

  Irene Malvern : West is West.

  Chip Collyer : Simple arithmetic it - doesn't add up.

  Irene Malvern : It doesn't - add up.

  [kiss] 

• Dr. Robert Campbell : You've just got to go to the wedding. You're the only glamour I know. I can just hear Cynthia's mother. "My son-in-law, Dr. Campbell, is a very close friend of Irene Malvern. As a matter of fact, she came to the wedding. And she tells me she cries real tears. Doesn't use glycerin.

  Irene Malvern : Never touch the filthy stuff. All right, I'll come.

• Irene Malvern : You took a mean advantage of a poor, devoted soul.

  Chip Collyer : Did I?

• Chip Collyer : I know it's a bit complicated but if you pay attention, I'll diagram it for you.

  Irene Malvern : Anna has already done that.

  Chip Collyer : Oh, there's back to Anna again, huh?

  Irene Malvern : Yes. She told me everything.

  Chip Collyer : She did?

  Irene Malvern : Yes. I can better understand her now.

  Chip Collyer : You can?

  Irene Malvern : I do well understanding.

• Irene Malvern : Have you any love for her at all?

  Chip Collyer : Oh, uh, you know how it is.

  Irene Malvern : She was only a means to an end, huh?

  Chip Collyer : Did she say that?

  Irene Malvern : Oh, not in those words.

• Irene Malvern : As a matter of fact, she didn't make very much sense. She was hysterical. And I can understand that too. After all, you've been using your wiles on her for some time now. And why? To get my jewels.

  Chip Collyer : Oh, I see. I see.

• Irene Malvern : Oh, let me assure you, my jewels are downstairs in the vault.

  Chip Collyer : Oh, well then, in that case...

  [He starts to leave] 

  Irene Malvern : And furthermore, let me assure you that there is a detective standing outside that door.

  Chip Collyer : Uh, Perry Mason, Peter Wimsey, or Sherlock Holmes?

• Irene Malvern : [after stopping Chip from putting her cigarette lighter in his pocket]  You just can't help taking things, can you?

  Chip Collyer : Oh, now look, Miss Malvern, you've got me all wrong.

• Irene Malvern : Do you want to go to prison?

  Chip Collyer : Uh, that's uh... an experience I've never really had.

• Chip Collyer : If I weren't a jewel thief, would I be sitting here with one of the loveliest women in America? Watching her green flecked eyes change from fear to scorn to anger to pity? Oh, yes, I saw some pity in those eyes... And, uh, oh, the nose... The voice...

  Irene Malvern : Poor Anna. She never had a chance, did she?

  Chip Collyer : Not a chance.

• Irene Malvern : But what made you a thief?

  Chip Collyer : Oh, that's a long story.

  Irene Malvern : Is it, uh, hereditary?

  Chip Collyer : No. My father was a missionary.

  Irene Malvern : Oh, a good man

  Chip Collyer : None better.

• Irene Malvern : Well, uh, when did you first...

  Chip Collyer : Steal?

  Irene Malvern : Yes.

  Chip Collyer : Um, let's not go into that. Anyway, why are you taking all this trouble over me? You're a movie star. You ought to be at El Morocco or some place.

• Chip Collyer : Incidentally, are you engaged, married, divorced?

  Irene Malvern : Oh, no, no.

  Chip Collyer : How come?

  Irene Malvern : I work. That's something I recommend to you - work. The only thing in life.

  Chip Collyer : Oh, I wouldn't say that.

  Irene Malvern : Well, the only satisfying thing.

  Chip Collyer : And I wouldn't say that either.

  Irene Malvern : What else is there then?

  Chip Collyer : Well, there's, uh, fishing.

• Chip Collyer : [He takes a flower from her vase and puts it in his lapel hole]  All right, showdown. I'm the parasite. Not a bad fellow. Good manners. A gentleman. They, uh, call me The Baron.

  Irene Malvern : Who's they?

  Chip Collyer : The gang.

  Irene Malvern : You mean you work with a gang?

  Chip Collyer : Well, a syndicate, if you prefer.

  Irene Malvern : Then this whole thing has been carefully organized?

  Chip Collyer : Oh, oh, oh, meticulous.

• Chip Collyer : Look, do you still believe I'm a jewel thief?

  Irene Malvern : Well, if you aren't, why did you ask Anna for the key?

  Chip Collyer : Can't you guess?

  Irene Malvern : Why, that's the most outrageous... I think you'd better go.

• Irene Malvern : Wait! Will the police know you by sight.

  Chip Collyer : There isn't a cop in New York who doesn't.

  Irene Malvern : Wait here, then. I'll get rid of the detective.

• Irene Malvern : [Opens the connecting door to see Chip stacking furniture to block it]  What are you doing?

  Chip Collyer : I once walked in my sleep.

• Henry Burton : You know, he's a nice fellow.

  Irene Malvern : What's nice about him?

  Henry Burton : What do you want, a complete psychoanalysis? He just struck me as a nice fellow.

• Henry Burton : You feel like playing the radio, you play it. You haven't got to worry about him. You feel like reading, you read. You feel like sleeping, you sleep. You ever want kids, you adopt a couple of 'em. You hire a nurse. You don't even have to see 'em. I tell you, if I knew then what I know now, my life would be different too. And I'm not saying anything against Mrs. Burton.

  Irene Malvern : Goodnight, Henry.

• Henry Burton : Believe me, Irene, there's nothing else in life but work.

  Irene Malvern : Oh, yes there is.

  Henry Burton : What, for instance

  Irene Malvern : Well, there's fishing.

  Henry Burton : Yeah, sure. Say, I didn't know you like fishing.

• Chip Collyer : Oh, you don't think any lawyer in his right mind would have me as his client, any more than any woman in her right mind would have me as a husband?

  Irene Malvern : Oh, I wouldn't say that.

• Irene Malvern : [Irene takes Cynthia into the next bedroom where Chip is sitting and eating breakfast. He doesn't know what's going on]  Chip, darling?

  Chip Collyer : Huh?

  Irene Malvern : Precious. Cynthia, this is my husband.

  [Chip drops his toast in his coffee] 

  Irene Malvern : Precious, this is Cynthia Drew. She's marrying Bobby Campbell this afternoon.

  Chip Collyer : Huh?

• Cynthia Drew : You're Chip Collyer, the war correspondent, aren't you?

  Chip Collyer : Yes.

  Cynthia Drew : I heard your lecture at the college.

  Irene Malvern : And doesn't he tell the most fantastic stories? Some of them true. Go ahead and finish your breakfast, dear.

  [She leads Cynthia out of the room]