The Sin of Harold Diddlebock (1947)

Harold Lloyd: Harold Diddlebock

Photos 

Quotes 

• Harold Diddlebock : A fool and his money are soon parted.

  Wormy : Yeah, but think what beautiful memories he lays up. How 'bout two dollars 'til tomorrow?

  Harold Diddlebock : He who lendeth money endeth friendship.

  Wormy : Oh, that's alright, we ain't friends. I never even seen you before!

• Wormy : What you need is a drink.

  Harold Diddlebock : No, I never touch it. I never have. It runs in my family, not to. The demon rum...

  Wormy : I tell you what I'm going to do, since you've been so generous and all...

  Harold Diddlebock : No. No. I tell you I have never in my whole life...

  Wormy : You're never too old to learn.

  Harold Diddlebock : You can't teach an old dog, new tricks.

  Wormy : Every dog is entitled to one bite.

  Harold Diddlebock : Let sleeping dogs lie.

  Wormy : A barking dog never bites!

  Harold Diddlebock : He who sleepeth with dogs, rises with fleas!

  Wormy : Now, wait a minute. How 'bout, eh, a little wine for thy stomach's sake. That's from The Good Book! He who hesitates is lost.

  Harold Diddlebock : Lips that touch liquor, shall never touch mine.

  Wormy : Eat, drink and be merry!

  Harold Diddlebock : The priest and the prophet have erred through strong drink, they are swallowed up of wine, they are out of the way through strong drink; they err in vision, they stumble in judgment. Isaiah 28.

  Wormy : Ya got me.

  Harold Diddlebock : What kind of a drink would you suggest? Nothing too strong, of course.

• Jake : It has always seemed to me that the cocktail should approach us on tip-toe, like a young girl, whose first appeal - is innocence.

  Wormy : What a poet!

  Jake : Here's to innocence!

  Wormy : Bottoms up!

  Harold Diddlebock : Over your ears!

• Harold Diddlebock : As soon as I have a minute, I'll thank you for hours.

• E.J. Waggleberry : Well, I should say I do remember! I should certainly hope to kiss a pig if I didn't!

  Harold Diddlebock : Thank you!

  E.J. Waggleberry : Now, let me see, that was football, wasn't it? Or was it ice hockey? I go to everything!

  Harold Diddlebock : Football, Mr. Waggleberry!

  E.J. Waggleberry : Football, of course! And I presume I promised you a job; I usually do when I get excited.

  Harold Diddlebock : Oh.

  E.J. Waggleberry : But you shall have it! With me, a promise is a sacred pledge! My word is my bond, my handshake is like a certified check, my check is like a...

  Harold Diddlebock : He who loses honor, loses everything.

  E.J. Waggleberry : Right! We don't start people at the top, you understand; that would be too easy. We do it the American way! We give them an opportunity to work up! - from the bottom. What satisfaction! What a feeling of accomplishment you will have, when you are able to look back from whatever rung of the ladder your, eh, go-getiveness would have placed you on, to say, I - I did that!

  Harold Diddlebock : Yes sir!

• Harold Diddlebock : Everyman is the architect of his own fortune.

• Jake : [Fixing Harold's first alcoholic drink]  Now, just a couple of technical questions. Would you like it frappé or flambé?

  Harold Diddlebock : How?

  Jake : Do you like ice skating or Turkish baths?

  Harold Diddlebock : I used to skate, a little.

  Jake : Frappé!

• Harold Diddlebock : A Diddlebock isn't really a drink.

  Mike the Cop : A what?

  Jake : It's just a little thing I invented in Brother Diddlebock's honor.

  Harold Diddlebock : It's more like fruit cup, really. A fruit cup with - sex appeal.

• Harold Diddlebock : [after letting out a bloodcurdling howl]  There it is again! I could've sworn I heard something!

  Mike the Cop : I suppose I didn't hear nothin' THAT time.

  Harold Diddlebock : I'm very glad you noticed it, because I did too!

  Mike the Cop : Ya don't tell me.

  Harold Diddlebock : I've been telling these boys about it, but they're not sure. To me, it sounded like a cross between a Mongolian lynx and a wounded moose. Have you ever hunted the Mongolian lynx?

  Mike the Cop : I have not.

  Harold Diddlebock : How about a wounded moose?

  Mike the Cop : Likewise.

  Harold Diddlebock : You're probably better off.

  [to the bartender] 

  Harold Diddlebock : Why don't you give the gentleman a drink instead of letting him stand there with his tongue hanging out!

• Harold Diddlebock : [Looking at himself in a mirror]  Why, I wouldn't trust a face like that to empty a spittoon!

• Harold Diddlebock : When the iron is hot, strike! Obey that impulse!

• Flora : When old Mrs. Chauncey called out the window, "The night was made for sleep, Mr. Diddlebock", you and your drunken friends had to holler back, "The night was made for love, Mrs. Chauncey! Or have you forgotten?"

  Harold Diddlebock : I said that?

  Flora : Said it? You *sang* it!

• Harold Diddlebock : Excuse me, you didn't happen to notice what I did with any of that money, did you? Or, even some of it?

  Algernon McNiff : Oh, you were most free with it, sir. The women were at your feet, sir, if I may be so bold.

  Harold Diddlebock : They were?

  Algernon McNiff : Prostrate, sir, absolutely horizontal. The weaker sex simply adore a generous man, sir.

• Harold Diddlebock : Did you ever hear of the Trojan Horse?

  Wormy : Where was he running?

• Harold Diddlebock : As you know, Mr. Smoke, you are loathed by everyone.

  James R. Smoke : Wha-wha-why?

  Harold Diddlebock : Because you are a banker.

• Frances Otis : Don't talk nonsense, Mr. Diddlebock. Don't be depressed. The day is always darkest...

  Harold Diddlebock : I know, just before the cyclone.

• Harold Diddlebock : Why didn't you resist me, Miss Otis?

  Frances Otis : Because, you were irresistible, Mr. Diddlebock.

• Harold Diddlebock : Now, how would you feel about repossessing your circus, at a fraction of its original cost?

  Wild Bill Hickock : I'd like to be 9,000 miles away from it, home in the arms of my mother.

  Harold Diddlebock : I see. I could make you an exceptionally attractive offer.

  Wild Bill Hickock : You couldn't make me an attractive offer, not if you got down on your bended knees and threw in a set of dishes.

  Harold Diddlebock : I see.

  Wild Bill Hickock : You don't, but you will.

• Jake the Bartender : [Fixing Harold's first alcoholic drink]  Do you prefer showers or sitz baths?

  Harold Diddlebock : Well, we have a shower over the tub, but there's always the danger of stepping on the soap.

  Jake the Bartender : Vodka!

  Harold Diddlebock : What?

  Jake the Bartender : With vodka, you don't care WHAT you step on!

  Wormy : You can step on snakes!

• Harold Diddlebock : Sit down? Why should I sit down, do I look tired? That's the trouble with the men of today: they don't endure! They have no stamina! Look at our forefathers! Look at Washington! Look at Valley Forge! Look at the pioneers! THEN LOOK AT ME!... Men were men in those days -

  [takes out a bill and throws it at the bartender] 

  Harold Diddlebock : here, buy yourself a new suit, you look terrible - they mined the earth and dug the rivers, and tamed the wilderness, and brought forth peaceful homesteads in the shadow of the eagle, and the echo of the thundering herd! And in the final analysis, WHERE ARE THEY? I ask you! And I reply: DEAD, my friends! Deader then a boiled mackerel! I... thank yoooouuuuuu!

  [falls backwards] 

• E.J. Waggleberry : [after just firing Harold]  Goodbye and good luck. And as a parting thought, I want you to know that this is hurting me much more than it is you, Harold. Much more!

  Harold Diddlebock : Thank you, very much. Goodbye.

  E.J. Waggleberry : Don't let it get you down.

• Harold Diddlebock : Once bitten, twice shy.

• Harold Diddlebock : A wise man keepeth his own counsel.

• Jake : This calls for a little celebration, Mr., eh...

  Harold Diddlebock : Diddlebock. Harold Diddlebock.

  Jake : Diddle what?

  Harold Diddlebock : Diddlebock. Bock - as in beer.

  Jake : Oh, I thought you said, Diddlebuck - as in buckwheat cakes.

  Harold Diddlebock : No, I didn't

  Wormy : Brother Diddlebuck, eh, back, eh, bu, eh, what's the matter with me?

  Harold Diddlebock : Bock.

• Harold Diddlebock : I wonder if anybody saw me?

  Flora : Oh, no, of course, not. You probably didn't attract any more attention than Lady Godiva in Macy's window at noon!

• Harold Diddlebock : My circus? Who, in heaven's name, ever gave you the idea that I had a circus?

  Wormy : Who ever give me the idea? You sent me out to take care of it, didn't you? Right in the middle of a party, didn't you? Just when I'm gettin' in good with this big blonde, I got to beat it out to Queens, just in time for an elephant to squirt a bucket of ice water in my kisser and for one of them cats to, well never mind that.

• Harold Diddlebock : I was even in love with the same girl all my life; except, in different bodies.

  Wormy : Same with me. I gotta have change all the time. So long, Suzie. Hello, Nellie! Hail - and farewell!

• Harold Diddlebock : You know something else? He may have been right to fire me. I'm just an old has-been.

  Wormy : What are you talkin' about? If ever I seen a live wire, a good-time Charlie with the rubber off his roller and a whistle for the dames.

• Harold Diddlebock : Where there's a problem, there must be a solution. Where there's a mind, there must be thought. You follow me?

• Harold Diddlebock : Now, where do you get money?

  Wormy : Eh, Wall Street?

  Harold Diddlebock : Correct. And where in Wall Street?

  Wormy : A bank?

  Harold Diddlebock : Correct, again. And how do you get that money out of that bank?

  Wormy : A hold-up?

• Harold Diddlebock : There's nothing that succeeds...

  Wormy : Like success!

  Harold Diddlebock : No! Like thought! With thought you can penetrate...

  Wormy : Granite walls!

  Harold Diddlebock : Right! - All we need, then, is a thought!

• Harold Diddlebock : Drop that gun!

  Wormy : Here, have a drink.

• Frances Otis : Oh, I thought you were in trouble.

  Harold Diddlebock : Far from it! Do I look as if I were in trouble? Now, you didn't happen to see any bankers downstairs, on your way up here, did you?

  Frances Otis : No, I didn't Mr. Diddlebock. Only a colored man.

  Harold Diddlebock : What was he doing?

  Frances Otis : Mopping the floor.

• Harold Diddlebock : Did anyone see any bankers around here?

• Frances Otis : Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus bought your circus.

  Harold Diddlebock : Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus? You mean for money?

  Frances Otis : Well, he certainly didn't buy it for peanuts.

• Harold Diddlebock : Piffle! Bunk! Sentimental drib drab.

• [last lines] 

  Harold Diddlebock : That must be what I was doing all day Wednesday!