Jack Lindsay: Isn't it terrible how completely women know each other?

Mary Morely: Young man, you are trying to interfere with destiny. Out! Out! Out!

Peter Morley: Any friend of my wife must have a friend of her own.

Jack Lindsay: Well, how we doing?

Mary Morely: I hadn't realized how easy it was to advise people and how difficult it is to make the advice work.

Peter Morley: [to a violin player at their dinner table] Why don't you go watch Rome burn?

Mary Morely: I asked him to come over.

Peter Morley: Oh, it was very pretty. Thanks very much.

[He gives the violinist a tip]

Gloria Fay: Well, when does the fur start flying?

Peter Morley: Fur?

Mary Morely: Fur! Miss Fay means when is somebody going to trip over his own tongue and reveal that Mr. Morely is sitting between Mrs. Morely and his girlfriend.

Jack Lindsay: Touche!

Gloria Fay: Girlfriend is quite the phrase Mrs. Morely.

Mary Morely: Oh, I was just being sweet.

Gloria Fay: You are a darling. I feel honored to have won your husband.

Mary Morely: You know, it's too bad you can't celebrate a moral victory.

Peter Morley: Well, now that we all know each other...

Gloria Fay: I want nothing but the best for Peter, and now he's going to have it.

Mary Morely: Tell me, my dear, how did you ever manage to meet him?

Gloria Fay: Oh, a man without love isn't that difficult.

Mary Morely: It depends. In your case, obviously no.

Gloria Fay: Oh, it's wonderful to meet such an understanding woman.

Gloria Fay: Is she going to sign or must we sit here all evening and pick our teeth between insults?

Peter Morley: Insults? I thought you two were getting along beautifully.

Peter Morley: Well, she wouldn't walk out without saying a word. She wouldn't do that to me.

Gloria Fay: She's doing it to me.

Peter Morley: Yeah, but, her coat and purse.

Gloria Fay: You'll take them to her. She knew that. And you know how weak a man can be?

Peter Morley: Something's bothering her.

Gloria Fay: You don't know what it is?

Peter Morley: Have you any idea?

Gloria Fay: Not the slightest... Stay as sweet as you are.

[She looks at him lovingly and puts her arm through his]

Man Retrieving Dress from Peter: He got away, but I got your pajamas.

Jack Lindsay: Thanks.

Porter on Train: [after reaching out to catch Peter who was running to catch the moving train] Sorry sir, but that's against the rules.

Peter Morley: [Giving the porter a tip] That's okay. I won't report you.

Jack Lindsay: [Hands Peter his pajamas] Your pajamas.

Peter Morley: Thanks. You were yelling, "Stop! Thief!"

Jack Lindsay: Why did you run out on me?

Peter Morley: Do I have to explain my private life?

Jack Lindsay: Yes. And give the ear to a client who's come all the way from Washington on important business.

Peter Morley: Well, now, Jack. I'm in a mess and you know it. You've gotta make allowances.

Peter Morley: You can get off at the next stop. It's Harlem, and I hope I can too.

Peter Morley: [after running again to catch the train and being pulled on board by the porter] Violating the rules again. You're going to get caught one of these days.

[He tips the porter]

Porter on Train: Yes. Thank you.

Peter Morley: Why didn't you get off?

[at Harlem]

Jack Lindsay: I came to New York on business. If I'm willing to let your pleasure interfere, please don't kick a gift horse in the mouth.

Peter Morley: I wish you weren't such a good client.

Jack Lindsay: You'll thank me some day.

Mary Morely: That is a moment I hope I don't have to see.

Jack Lindsay: The career of a martyr is a thankless one.

Mary Morely: Mr. Lindsay, just what is it you expect from me?

Jack Lindsay: You

[He takes her hand]

Mary Morely: [Rising and pointing him toward the door] Young man, you are trying to interfere with destiny. Out! Out! Out!

Peter Morley: I wish I was like you. It'd be so easy to kill myself.

Jack Lindsay: Drink that coffee while I lend you my mind.

Peter Morley: Oh, no. Mary's too smart. She'd see through that.

Jack Lindsay: You can also see through water, but people swallow it.

Jack Lindsay: [to Peter Morely, after concocting a plan to turn Mary away from Peter] Believe me, if you're so repulsive, as I'm sure you can be...

Peter Morley: It's wonderful, Jack... to help me like this. So... unselfish. Like a bat borrowing its blood.

Mary Morely: A woman who won't fight to hold a good man doesn't deserve him.

Reporter: Mr. Morely! What's the man's slant on hanging on to a husband?

Peter Morley: Oh, that's a cinch. The way for a lady to hang onto her husband is to refuse to let him go.

Peter Morley: You know, you'd be surprised how well that works out. I know because it happened to a friend of mine. Of course, this friend finally shot his wife and had to go to prison for life. But at least he "feels" free.

Reporter: I say, what's your idea on the ideal marriage?

Peter Morley: Well, I know, uh, my wife's routine. She says the ideal marriage is based on faith and trust. Of course, that means faith in your opinion of your husband, and trust that he won't find out.

WAC Maj. Cheever: Mr. Morely, I must remind you there are ladies present.

Peter Morley: Uh, uh, major. Correction! You're soldiers, ha, ha, ha. You know, the trouble with women in uniform - they can't figure out what they are. Reminds me of the story of the gopher and the kangaroo.

WAC Maj. Cheever: Mr. Morley!

Peter Morley: Is there such a story?

Peter Morley: She's fallen in love with that goon you turned me into.

Jack Lindsay: That's impossible. You'd know it immediately if you'd take a good look at yourself.

Peter Morley: Thanks for the compliment.

Jack Lindsay: And what are you going to say to Gloria?

Peter Morley: Well, I'll just tell her... well, I won't have to tell her anything. I'll just listen.

Peter Morley: Victory? I'm up to my ears I victory. And what does it get me? Heartburn.

Jack Lindsay: She's on the verge of breaking. One more smart move'll do it.

Peter Morley: Like what?

Jack Lindsay: Go back into the bridal suite and ignore her.

Peter Morley: Ignore her?

Jack Lindsay: That's the final blow to her pride. That's the one move that will give you your freedom.

Peter Morley: You always sound so convincing, and you never make sense. "You can see through water, but you swallow it," you said.

Jack Lindsay: You're upset. You're a confused man.

Peter Morley: How right you are.

Jack Lindsay: You've almost won your battle, and you don't know it. Now, get in there and do as I say.

Peter Morley: But how do you ignore someone who's locked in a bedroom?

Jack Lindsay: That door's going to open, and you know what to do then.

Peter Morley: Ignore her?

Jack Lindsay: Check!

Peter Morley: We thought you were three other people.

Gloria Fay: Naturally.

Gloria Fay: We're getting out of here while you still have a head on your body.

Peter Morley: [Bursting into an all black-tie restaurant] Be calm everybody, it's just the house detective. If you're with your own wife, just relax.

Peter Morley: While I was overseas, that nut stole my wife.

Waiter: [Who has been holding Peter back, let's go] Oh, yeah. That's the same deal I got.

Jack Lindsay: I did not. He was already back.

Waiter: Geronimo!

[He flattens Jack with a right to the kisser]

Jack Lindsay: I created a monster and it bit me.

Peter Morley: Uh, counsellor, what does the Army do for a woman?

[She plants a long kiss on him, after which he comes up for air seemingly dazed]

Peter Morley: Tell me again.

WAC Maj. Cheever: Captain, I don't think you should stay here.

Mary Morely: Oh, it's all right. He was in the Pacific, you know, on a little hot rock.