Taylor Holmes: Dr. Gibbs
Dr. Gibbs : Is there something I can do for you, Mr. Belvedere?
Lynn Belvedere : I wish to register in this university.
Dr. Gibbs : What on earth for?
Lynn Belvedere : $10,000.
Dr. Gibbs : I don't quite follow.
Lynn Belvedere : Dr. Gibbs, my novel, Hummingbird Hill, has just won the Morehouse Award, consisting of a gold medal and $10,000 in cash.
Dr. Gibbs : Well, surely, the money doesn't mean anything to you.
Lynn Belvedere : Money is the root of all evil. I respect it. The less I have of it, the more I respect it, and at the moment i have the greatest respect for it.
Dr. Gibbs : But you must have made a fortune on your book.
Lynn Belvedere : I also lost a fortune in libel suits.
Dr. Gibbs : Oh, now. How...?
Lynn Belvedere : My unconscionable desire to write the truth has inundated me in a sea of debt. I am, in legal terms, a pauper.
Dr. Keating : Mr. Belvedere, these are astonishing grades!
Lynn Belvedere : Yes, they are.
Dr. Keating : 98, 100, 100, 97, 99, 100.
Dr. Gibbs : Yes, and I must admit that your IQ places you in a very high category.
Lynn Belvedere : Naturally. I am a genius.
Dr. Keating : Yes, Mr. Belvedere, quite so.
Dr. Gibbs : Yes, it is that very fact which compels me to suspect your motive in joining us here.
Dr. Keating : Mr. Belvedere explained that the Morehouse Award required him to have a college degree.
Dr. Gibbs : I know what Mr. Belvedere said.
Dr. Keating : Dr. Gibbs is not being arbitrary. Even you, sir, will admit that your entrance into Clemens as a freshman and your attempt to complete four years schooling in less than one year could disguise an ulterior purpose.
Lynn Belvedere : Subterfuge is a strategy employed by idealists and parasites. I have never been either.
Dr. Keating : Well, in that case then, you won't object if I enroll you in this university as a freshman -- subject to conditions.
Dr. Keating : Which are?
Dr. Keating : If you should attempt to use this college for a publicity stunt to exploit your novel or yourself -- that is, to say, if there is any notoriety or sensationalism during your stay here at Clemens -- then it shall become my unpleasant duty to expel you.
Lynn Belvedere : Conditions accepted.
Dr. Keating : Then allow me to welcome you officially to Clemens University.
Lynn Belvedere : [Shaking hands] Thank you, President Keating.