The Marrying Kind (1952)

Aldo Ray: Chet Keefer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chet Keefer : I'm not crazy! You may be driving me, but I'm not there yet!

• Chet Keefer : Whoever thought up the wheel, I betcha that didn't take more than ten seconds.

  George Bastian : Boy, married life sure has made you deep, man.

  Chet Keefer : Well, anyway, that's the sort of lines I'm thinking along.

  George Bastian : Three or four years you'll be bald-headed or gray-haired or both!

  Chet Keefer : See you George.

  George Bastian : Don't take any wooden ten seconds.

• Chet Keefer : This time, I finely got a good look at 'em and they looked nice. You know, regular, not just a couple of ordinary girls.

• Judge Anne B. Carroll : How did you happen to meet?

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : What's the difference?

  Chet Keefer : It wasn't anything special.

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : We just - we happened to.

  Chet Keefer : Just a pick-up.

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : It was not!

  Chet Keefer : Okay, it was not.

• Chet Keefer : I had this friend, George Bastian, and we had a habit of every Saturday afternoon, sometime Sundays, to go over in the park and horse around, play a game of ball, get a rowboat, pitch pennies. But, this one day we happened to be walking along and having a discussion. And we were figuring this idea back and forth about the Post Office, see, where the both of us work. And we were real engrossed like you get on scientific subjects. The next thing you know these two girls come walking right through between us. So, we looked them over. And George says, "Bet you a buck they look back." So, I said, "Bet." So, sure enough, they looked back.

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : We did not.

  Chet Keefer : I remember paying him the buck!

• Chet Keefer : It was right there, that night, in Florence's hallway the subject came up. The subject about getting married, I mean. I didn't bring it - she brought it.

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : How?

  Chet Keefer : By you sayin', "How come a fella like you isn't even married? What are you waiting for? The boss' daughter?" I remember laughin' cause I thought it was pretty cute at the time. But, anyways, we got talkin' about it pretty serious and I started in explaining something about my theory I had at that time. My theory was: I didn't want to get married. See, I didn't have anything against it; but, it was no good for me at that time, see. I'd just gotten into the civil service then making twenty-three hundred. So how could I get married? Next thing I know I'm in Atlantic City on a honeymoon. Mine.

• Chet Keefer : He could afford to give it; but, I couldn't afford to take it.

• Chet Keefer : Don't be telling me about these happy-Jack old bosses throwing presents at you.

• Florence (Florrie) Keefer : He gave me a bonus. Fifty dollars.

  Chet Keefer : Who?

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Fifty!

  Chet Keefer : What?

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Clarence F. Dow, my old boss.

  Chet Keefer : What's he? One of these big brother types or just or a big humanitarian to good-looking blondes?

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Never mind.

  Chet Keefer : I like to know these things.

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Why?

  Chet Keefer : You know how it is with bosses and secretaries.

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Well, some, but not me.

  Chet Keefer : You sure?

• Chet Keefer : You missed your notch, all right. You should have been a tea-leaf reader.

• Florence (Florrie) Keefer : All of a sudden I became a threesome.

  Chet Keefer : Not how I remember it.

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Because you were so high by that time.

  Chet Keefer : I was low, not high.

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : You couldn't tell the difference between me and her by then.

  Chet Keefer : Who?

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : You know who, that big slinky one. If that's your idea of taste, I don't know how it is you ever got together with me.

• Chet Keefer : It made me nervous.

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : I suppose that's why you had to start drinkin' all those cocktails like you thought they were celery tonic.

• Chet Keefer : Say, honey?

  [getting into his own twin bed] 

  Chet Keefer : You see this guy, how about asking him about a double bed?

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : All right.

  Chet Keefer : Wouldn't be too much more expense or anything, would it?

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : I don't think so.

  Chet Keefer : I don't think so, either. So you wouldn't mind asking him, would you?

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Why should I?

  Chet Keefer : Embarrassed or anything?

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Why should I?

  Chet Keefer : I don't know. I guess I was thinking I'd be.

• Florence (Florrie) Keefer : You'd better have a glass of milk, if you know what's good for you. Two glasses, in fact!

  Chet Keefer : If I knew what was good for me, I wouldn't be me!

• Howard Shipley : That's something tried and true.

  Chet Keefer : Well, this is tried and true.

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : We tried it ourselves!

  Chet Keefer : If you'd ever do it once yourself...

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : I didn't think much of it myself, till I tried it myself.

• Chet Keefer : One drink, that's all I had, one drink! I didn't even finish that, I didn't even like it. Like I said to Howard: "What's in here, some of your non-inflammable cleaning fluid?" But, of course, he can't take a joke. Couldn't get him to crack a smile if you were Olsen and Johnson and Martin and Lewis put together.

• Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Just one of those breaks.

  Chet Keefer : You get enough of those breaks, next thing, you're beyond repair.

• Chet Keefer : The kind of love they got in books and movies, that's not for people. You gotta be more realistic.

  Judge Anne B. Carroll : Why?

• Howard Shipley : Say, this is great, kitten!

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : See?

  Chet Keefer : Some sensation, huh?

• Florence (Florrie) Keefer : If your so anxious to get jealous, I'll give you a list.

  Chet Keefer : I'd give you a list only there's so many, I forgot most of them.

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Okay, Don Ju-an. Shave your face.

  [singing] 

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : That old black magic has me in it's spell, That old black magic that I love so well, Those icy fingers da da-da da-da, Da da-da!

• Florence (Florrie) Keefer : I'm treatin' us to a cab!

  Chet Keefer : Since when do you get so manly?

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : [singing]  But, what can I do? I'm just a slave...

• Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Hey! You know what I bet would be a great idea?

  Chet Keefer : What?

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Flavored postage stamps.

  Chet Keefer : No.

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : What do you mean "no"? Just 'cause you didn't think of it, or that other great mind, George Bastian?

  Chet Keefer : No, because where's the return?

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Who likes to lick stamps? Nobody. But if it's clover, mint, or spearmint, why not?

• Florence (Florrie) Keefer : If you'd only calm down, just cool off a minute.

  Chet Keefer : Okay, I'm cool.

• Chet Keefer : The way I am, that's how I am.

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : Me, too.

• Chet Keefer : Okay, I come over there?

  Florence (Florrie) Keefer : I don't see any stop sign, do you?