Bader: [Bader is at a sanatorium in recovery and listening to a fellow patient complain about pains to one of his legs] . Have it off, old boy, have it off.
Equipment Officer: I'm sorry, the book says I must wait three months before I can initiate the procedure for hastening new issue.
Bader: Fine! We'll send Goring a telegram, and ask him not to come over for *three months*!
Bader: [Spotting the Base Commander] I was just on my way to find you, Sir. We've been unable to get replacement spares and tools, so I've sent this signal of to Group. '242 Squadron fully operational as regards pilots, but non-operational, repeat, non-operational as regards equipment'
Bader's 242 Squadron Base Commander: [Taking the signal form from Bader and reading it] You know, you just can't do this!
Bader: Well, I've done it, Sir.
Bader's 242 Squadron Base Commander: There'll be an awful row at Group.
Bader: There'll be an awful row at Fighter Command. I sent them a copy too!
Bader's 242 Squadron Base Commander: Well, I can see your squadron will either be getting new equipment or a new C.O. I wouldn't like to bet on which!
Turner: Legs or no legs, I've never seen such a mobile fireball.
[Bader finds out that 242 squadron has not received replacements for the spares and tools they lost when they pulled out of France]
Warr. Off. West: We've applied for replacements through the usual channels, Sir.
Warr. Off. West: Well, the usual channels appear to be clogged.
Bader: *Are* they? Well, We'll ruddy well *unclog* 'em!
[242 Squadron have just found out Bader has tin legs]
Turner: Great, so now we carry a passenger in the driving seat!
[Bader refuses to perfom some low flying for a trio of civilian pilots]
Civilian Pilot: Typical, these Air Force boys only perform when there's a crowd!
Lorry Driver: [having narrowly avoided a collision with Bader's recklessly driven car] What's your name mate, Death?
Air Vice-Marshal Halahan: You'd better change considerably Bader or you'll go. We don't want boys in the Air Force - we want men.
Police Constable: You're a menace to everybody on the road.
Harry Day: What a terrible thing to happen to a man like Douglas.