The Seventh Seal (1957)

Gunnar Björnstrand: Squire Jöns

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Quotes 

• Jöns : Love is the blackest of all plagues... if one could die of it, there would be some pleasure in love, but you don't die of it.

• Jöns : Love is as contagious as a cold. It eats away at your strength, morale... If everything is imperfect in this world, love is perfect in its imperfection.

  Blacksmith Plog : You're happy, you with your oily words. You believe your own twaddle.

  Jöns : Believe it? Who said? But I love to give pieces of advice.

• [the church painter explains why he is painting a mural about death] 

  Church Painter : Why should one always make people happy? It might be a good idea to scare them once in a while.

  Jöns : Then they'll close their eyes and refuse to look.

  Church Painter : They'll look. A skull is more interesting than a naked woman.

  Jöns : If you do scare them...

  Church Painter : Then they think.

  Jöns : And then?

  Church Painter : They'll become more scared.

• Jöns : Love is nothing but lust and cheating and lies.

• Jöns : Our crusade was such madness that only a real idealist could have thought it up.

• Jöns : It's hell with women and hell without women. No matter how you reason it seems like the logic thing to do is to kill them while it's still fun.

  Blacksmith Plog : Bickering and swill!

  Jöns : Screaming babies and diapers full of piss!

  Blacksmith Plog : Sharp nails and malice!

  Jöns : Scuffle, fits and the devil's aunt as a mother in law!

  Blacksmith Plog : And then when you're going to sleep...

  Jöns : Then they change they're tune!

  Blacksmith Plog : Tears, complaints and wailing to high heaven!

  Jöns : "Why won't you kiss me good night?"...

  Blacksmith Plog : "Why won't you sing a song?"...

  Jöns : "How come you don't love me like when we first met?"...

  Blacksmith Plog : "Why aren't you looking at my new shift?"...

  Jöns : "Just turn your back and snore!"...

  Blacksmith Plog : Damn it!

  Jöns : Damn it! Now she's gone; Rejoice!

• [watching a young woman get burned at the stake] 

  Jöns : Who will take care care of that child? Is it the angels or God or Satan or the emptiness? The emptiness, Sire?

  Antonius Block : It can't be so!

• Jöns : Only fools die of love.

• Jöns : But feel, to the very end, the triumph of being alive!

• Jöns : It's hell with women, and hell without. Best to kill them all while the fun lasts.

• Jöns : Do you have any brandy? I've had nothing but water. It's made me as thirsty as a camel in the desert.

• Jöns : Between a scarlet woman's knees, a man like me can take his ease.

• Jöns : [Looking at the religious procession]  Is this what we offer to modern men's minds? Do they really believe we will take all of this seriously?

• Blacksmith Plog : Hey Jöns, purely confidential, isn't life quite...?

  Jöns : [interrupts Plog]  Yes, it is... but don't think about that now.

  Blacksmith Plog : [to himself]  It's ludicrous, that's what it is.

• Jöns : [the witch is about to be burned]  Look at her eyes, my lord. Her poor brain has just made a discovery. Emptiness under the moon.

  Antonius Block : No.

  Jöns : We stand powerless, our arms hanging at our sides, because we see what she sees, and our terror and hers are the same. That poor little child. I can't stand it, I can't stand it...

• Jöns, squire : What's that supposed to be?

  Albertus Pictor, Church Painter : The Dance of Death.

  Jöns, squire : And that one is Death.

  Albertus Pictor, Church Painter : Yes, he dances off with them.

  Jöns, squire : Why do you paint such nonsense?

  Albertus Pictor, Church Painter : To remind people they're going to die.

  Jöns, squire : That won't cheer them up any.

• Jöns : The actor plays on the emotions. That's half the battle.

• Antonius Block : From our darkness, we call out to Thee, Lord. Have mercy on us because we are small and frightened and ignorant.

  Jöns : [bitterly]  In the darkness where you are supposed to be, where all of us probably are... In the darkness you will find no one to listen to your cries or be touched by your sufferings. Wash your tears and mirror yourself in your indifference.

  Antonius Block : God, You who are somewhere, who must be somewhere, have mercy upon us.

  Jöns : I could have given you an herb to purge you of your worries about eternity. Now it seems to be too late. But in any case, feel the immense triumph of this last minute when you can still roll your eyes and move your toes.

  Karin, Block's Wife : Quiet, quiet.

  Jöns : I shall be silent, but under protest.

• Jöns, squire : Here's squire Jöns. He grins at Death, scoff at the Lord, laughs at himself, and leers at the girls. His world exists only for himself. Absurd to all, even to himself. Meaningless to heaven, and of no interest to hell.

• Jöns, squire : My master and I just returned from abroad. You understand, my little painter?

  Albertus Pictor, Church Painter : The Crusades?

  Jöns, squire : Precisely. Ten years in the Holy Land, bitten by snakes and flies, slaughtered by savages, poisoned by bad wine, infested with lice by women, rotting with fever, all for the glory of God.

  Albertus Pictor, Church Painter : For the glory of God.

• Mia : One day is like another. There's nothing strange about that. Summer is better than Winter, of course, because you aren't cold. But, Spring is best of all.

  Jof : I wrote a song about Spring. Would you like to hear it?

  Mia : Not now, Jof. Our guests may not care for your songs.

  Jöns, squire : By all means. I write songs myself.

  Jof : You see?

  Jöns, squire : I know one about a wanton fish I'm sure you've never heard.

• Jöns, squire : Lord, why did you create women?

• Jöns, squire : Farewell, my sweet. I could have raped you, but I've grown tired of that kind of love. It's a little dull in the end.

• Jöns, squire : It's not my fault if I hear voices and see the Virgin, and if angels and devils like my company.

• Jöns, squire : [singing]  Between a strumpet's legs I lie, That's the place for such as I, The Lord is up above, you know, But Satan finds us here below.

• Jöns, squire : I'm a married man, but I expect my wife is dead by now.

• Jöns, squire : Whichever way we turn, our rump is behind us.

  Albertus Pictor, Church Painter : Our rump's always behind us. How true.

• Jöns, squire : God in heaven, if it isn't Plog the Smith. Are you sitting here crying all alone?

  Blacksmith Plog : Yes., look at the Smith, moaning like a rabbit drowning in piss.

• Jonas Skat : It's the filthy Smith who insulted my beloved lady, the fair Kunigunda.

  Blacksmith Plog : What did you call her?

  Lisa, blacksmith's wife : Kunigunda. Are you deaf?

  Jöns, squire : Kunigunda.

  Blacksmith Plog : Her name is Lisa. Strumpet Lisa. Rumpy, smutty, slutty Lisa.

  Lisa, blacksmith's wife : How coarse he is.

  Blacksmith Plog : Go find your own trash, you gilded pimp!

  Lisa, blacksmith's wife : What a brute!

  Jonas Skat : You scabby bastard of seven scurvy bitches, if I were in your lousy rags, I'd be so ashamed of everything about my person that I would immediately rid nature of my own embarrassing self.